


Leave Me Undone

by whiteravenwrites17



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Death, F/M, Gallifrey, Love, Regeneration, Time Lords, whouffaldi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-25
Updated: 2017-08-02
Packaged: 2018-10-10 13:31:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 30
Words: 29,966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10438752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whiteravenwrites17/pseuds/whiteravenwrites17
Summary: The Twelfth Doctor regenerates, and Clara is there in his final moments. As thirteen take his place, Clara and the Doctor are on a whole another rollercoaster of love, adventure and saving the universe.





	1. Undone

 

This was it, his final last moment in this body, this old leathery body that would soon deteriorate and a new one would take his place. There goes one of his hearts, two hearts that had carried too much pain and too much love. He looked at his hands, covered in blood- his blood. 

 

In the search for the leaver, his body slouched. For a minute he heard a voice, a hand had grabbed him, something familiar and warm.

He turned around, Clara. "Clara?"

 

"It's me, Doctor. I came back". He looked up and saw her tearstained red face, she was here right now in the TARDIS. He felt his hearts break, he knew she wouldn’t listen, for a single moment she would risk all of time and space to see him. He knew if she stayed too long the universe would pay the price. 

 

He pulled her into a bone crushing hug. He heard her give a little gasp of surprise. He pressed a kiss to her cheek, and ran his fingers through her hair, making sure she was real. He just needed her, Clara’s laugh. She didn’t even dare laugh, it was tears. They had a similar moment in her TARDIS, the memories of her disappearing. His heart was pulsing, the fear of dying had rushed through his veins. Everything, in this body that made him the Doctor was going to be gone. New personality, a new face different likes and dislikes ."Are we doing hugs now?"

 

"You’re the only exception," he smiled.

 

"How much longer have you got?" she asked, taking both of his hands. 

 

"Radiation poisoning," he explained, grunting through the pain. He was sweating, faster than he had overdone. “Cybermen," he explained. "A couple of hours, the healing will kick in soon".

 

After a few minutes of silence, brown eyes met blue. She rested her head on his chest as the healing process began. "Clara, there is something I wanted to do... I don't know how to initiate it. Or how to tell you-"

 

"You don't have to," she whispered. "I already know".

 

He tilted her chin up as his lips found hers, she deepened the kiss wrapping her arms around him. She felt the heat of regeneration energy meet her skin. So she would be kissing a person who had taken his place. The pain him not remembering her again shot through her.

 

One last kiss, one more time loving each other. He smiled at her when they broke apart. The glow had hidden his face, a new one would take his place. 

 

"I love you," she smiled.

 

As the Doctor and Clara were locked in their embrace somewhere in the center of the universe it was collapsing in on itself.

 


	2. Still the Doctor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not in the same universe as my story, Stay With Me. Second chapter, enjoy.

        The Doctor had collapsed onto Clara, a new face had come, his hair was messy and a little undone with a little grey at the temples. His facial features were sharp, unlike his chin, it was round, he looked around in his late thirties. Clara placed him in the chair and a little blanket to keep him warm until he wakes up. He was handsome alright, still.

 

          Distracting herself, Clara went to her old bedroom, only a few doors down from the Doctor’s bedroom. It was still the same, she found a key- specifically her key on the dresser. She smiled sadly, as she thought of their adventures in the TARDIS. Most of their romantic moments were here- home. They had sleepovers, when he was younger, cuddled  and hold hands when he was older they stopped, an invisible wall was put up between them. Maybe this time it would be different. 

 

“Clara,” she heard the Doctor whisper. Her heart skipped   beats , the feeling of  him, remembering her coursing through her body. The voice was hoarse, and in need of water it seemed. She,  thankfully, was not far away. She had come to his aid and pressed water to his lips. They had kissed only a few moments ago, of course he didn’t remember maybe soon.

 

He took a sip and mumbled: “Thank you”.

 

His voice was still English with a hint of a Scottish accent. “Clara, take me to my room, I’ll be more comfortable there”. 

 

He put his hand on her shoulder to support himself, her hand wrapped around his skinny body and lead to his bedroom. She had put him in his bed, and wrapped a blanket around his body, gaining a fever now. She took his hand, which had quickly grasped hers. She let him sleep and closed the door silently behind her. 

 

Clara knew she loved him, no matter what face he wore, regardless middle aged or young she wanted to be with him. She knew he couldn’t say the same words she knew was weighing on his lips. His eyes were heavy with what he saw of the world, heavy with loss and love. He lost her more times than he could count and remember. What a heartbreaking moment that was, to forget a Clara. Her big brown eyes, he grew to love and her cute little nose. Memories were coming back to him again, slowly and all at once. That was what it felt like, this familiarity of feeling. A sense of desire, lust, love. He was left undone by her, dying in her arms and then awake. He was the sleeping beauty and she woke him up. 

  He stared at his hands, young again and fresh, he felt like a teenager trapped inside a thirty year old body. An old voice in his head was screaming Clara’s name, a Scottish middle aged, grumpy buffoon who has been just too cowardly to tell Clara how he really felt. 

 

  The Doctor took his temperature, he was still cooking and had a running fever. He knew he was more confident in himself, and the memories of Gallifrey came back to him. He opened the door carefully, in his old clothes, and Clara was there, she will always be there.    
  



	3. Grey

Clara had given him her bravest smile, he was still the Doctor. His grey, curly, wild hair was replaced with a darker- still curly, which she didn’t mind it was as black as raven’s feathers. His eyes were hazel, green and soft, his eyebrows for once were perfectly even. His mouth seemed to be perfectly shaped. “Clara,” he breathed.

 

 She ran to him, like a little girl, she sprinted into his arms. He held her tightly against him, and kissed her head. “I missed you”

 

“How long has it been for you?” he asked.

 

“A few hundred years,” she replied through tears.

 

  He lifted her off the ground and spin her around, because he knew she liked that. He remembered her, and she could have never forgotten him. As she had begun to cry, she felt herself emotionally exhausted. “That was all I needed, I think,” he smiled holding a hand to his heart. “and both of my hearts are still working. All I needed was a little rest” .

 

"You still cooking?"

 

“Yes, but there is one thing, I’m almost shy to ask. I need something to recharge myself”.

 

He smoothed her skin, and teased her lips with his thumb, reluctantly testing the distance between them. “I need you, Clara”.

 

She knew what he meant. “Come here,” she encouraged, smoothing the back of his wavy black hair, she allowed their lips to crash. As their mouths moved together, the Doctor had smoothed the small of Clara’s back. He lifted her against him, and moved his lips to her neck and sighed contently into it.

 

 When they had both opened their eyes, he put her down, both of them in awe. It was different from the other few kisses they had shared, when he was much younger, before Trenzalore- both of them ignored, pretended it was nothing. His previous incarnations had pushed the idea away that him and Clara could ever be together, would it be that terrible?

 

His eyes were filled with of longing and new found desire. “I didn’t-,” she started.

 

“Me neither,” he agreed. “it’s never been like this, right?”

 

“No,” she agreed.

 

       He slipped out of her embrace and took her hand. “Could you help me choose an outfit?”

 

Encouraged, and a little confused at how their conversation took turn she followed him. She would bother him later about it, right now he was a new person and he needed help adjusting and getting back on his feet. She followed him to the dressing.

 

       In a few minutes he was in a grey suit, with striped white lines and a black tie, he almost looked like a gangster walking out on a 1960’s movie. He put his hand on his hips as if asking “What do you think?”

 

She laughed a little, straightening the collar on his jacket he looked at her hands, she had never done that for him. She stopped for a moment, her hands stopping at his neck. “Very fitting,” she smiled. As usual she covered her suggestive comment with a tease. “You look like a gangster”.

 

He did a little dance with his feet and ended it with flipping his newsie cap up in the air. “I don’t know how I feel about the flat cap”.

 

“Leave it, but you look very nice,” she added. “Your personality seems to be the same when you were the eleventh”.

 

“Oh, I’m still cooking,” he explained. “My body is just adjusting to it’s surroundings, you. You were the first face this face saw”.

 

“That was sweet of you to say,” she blushed, she looked down to avoid it. She rushed to hug him again, a little surprised he pressed a kiss to her hair. “I missed you so fucking much”.

“Have you moved on?” he asked her.

 

She looked up at him, he was almost concerned she had forgotten about him. She gave him a shrug, he backed away from her. “Nothing like that, I did have a relationship with Ashildr, for awhile and a few boyfriends”.

 

“Oh,” he said in a small tiny insecure voice. “don’t worry it’s only natural we only kissed a few times”.

 

“Are you sure?” she asked.

 

“Yeah,” he smiled sadly.

 

They still had to talk about that, Clara had reminded herself as he had sighed and moved out of the room. Following him, she saw him resting on the console talking to the TARDIS. Seeing that he was alright, she moved to the TARDIS theatre room.

 

She looked down and found herself in pajamas, with a police box pattern that the TARDIS had picked out. _A gift from a old friend_ she heard a voice in her head. Sitting down the flat screen had turned on to the news.

 

The TARDIS had given a groan, and in the console room was the Doctor, looking at the monitor he saw Clara sleeping next to the television. He turned the monitor away, he checked his head- a bit of sweat. He was cooking, memories of Amy, Rory and Rose came back.

“Clara, loved me didn’t she?”

 

The TARDIS replied with a few Gallifreyan writings on the monitor. As if to say. “What did you think?”

 

“Oh, I love her,” the Doctor admitted. “but I could never say it to her. I’m a coward”.

 

A second intuition told him that Clara knew Gallifreyan, he sent a note. Something he could never say aloud.  So she would know.

 

The note appeared in her hand in small scribbles, Clara couldn’t make it out. It was in rushed circles, but she could make out the two circles intertwined together he recognized the “I” and the “l”s and she figured it out. “I love you”.

 

She breathed in happily, and opened the door. The Doctor was asleep, still charging and readjusting, she supposed. Her smile faded, she'll get him one day. 

 

                                                  ___________

 “Wake up,” an energetic voice yelled.

 

Clara felt a pang of irritation. She was going to give to him. The previous Doctor was irritating in the way of rudeness, and lack of social skills this Doctor seemed to carry on his lack of social skills. He was still wearing his grey suit, and looked like a 60’s husband in a retro television show. “What is it?” she said in a agitated groan.

 

“Wanna go to on adventure?”

 

“Now?” she groaned opening her blurry eyes. “Alright, give me a few minutes”.

  
She heard him ruffle out of her bed, she gave a shy smile to himself. She would have to get used to this energetic version of the Doctor. But she knew, no matter what face, they loved each other even if they wouldn’t admit it to each other.


	4. New Faces

 Clara 233 years old

 

 November 23

 

   Clara took off her leather jacket and threw it to the side of the diner. She clenched her hand to her chest, her heart felt like it was cracking. It had done that for a couple of years, and today of all days. Earth time, it was her birthday, one of them. She was celebrating 233 years, travelling in her TARDIS diner, she had everything she could want- immortality. She could face the raven anytime she wanted, the universe depended on her dying.

 

  Ashildr took one look at her, her eyes widened with worry. Clara was her best friends, and on many occasions was her companion in many passionate nights. “Clara?”

 

   “I’m fine,” Clara lied.

 

    “ _She’s not fine, that was just one of the many similarities between her and the Doctor, they both lied to keep the people they cared about safe,”_ Ashildr wrote with her fountain pen in her diary. She loved Clara and that something she would something she would never admit to herself. “ _Later I took her to the infirmary. She’s resting, but I fear for the worse”._

 

    Clara woke up in a jolt, the TARDIS hummed in worry. Clara knew what she was saying. “Clara…”.

 

     She looked up at the monitor, circles in Gallifreyan. “Take me to Ashildr”.

 

    “It’s alright I’m here,” came a voice from the door. Ashildr ran to into Clara’s arms. It reminded Clara of something the Doctor would have done a long time ago. A few seconds later the two girls had their lips pressed together.  Clara pulled the bed sheets over them as Ashildr had squeezed underneath her companion.

    “I missed you,” Ashildr whispered.

 

   

     Clara nipped at the girl’s neck and smiled mischievously. Ashildr slipped out and smiled sadly, she wasn’t going to be a stand in for the Doctor. No, Clara was the Doctors and she wouldn’t given into her feelings.

 

      ________________

 

     When Clara had snapped out her daydream, the TARDIS had landed. It was the early 1900’s, a whole row of bright colors and parasols. “Alright, where are we?” Clara asked.

 

     “I think Jenny and Vastra are here, wanna visit them?”

 

     “Doctor, calm down, let’s explore a little,” she said as he offered his arm in mock gallantry.

 

     She gave him a mischievous glance. “Shall we, my lady?”

 

     “Yes, we shall,” she smiled.

 

     Even though it was a new body, it felt familiar. He didn’t bother to change into clothes, although Clara did. She looked beautiful although he’d never admit it. When they had knocked on Vastra’s door, there was no answer for awhile. A sonic screwdriver was put to the test, it unlocked the door as Vastra saw them.

 

    She nearly fainted, Clara was alive and the Doctor had a new face. “Doctor? Clara?”

 

    “Hi,” both of them waved shyly.

 

    “Clara- you’re dead and Doctor you have a new face!”

 

    “We can explain,” both of them blurted out at the same time.

 

     “What have you done this time?” the green woman had asked, her hands on her hips and this time looking at the Doctor.

 

    “This time?” the Doctor repeated. He had to admit, she had a point.

 

    “Well let’s have a look at you,” she said dragging his hand into the parlor.

 

    She ordered he turn around. Feeling awkward, he obliged her. “Well at least you’re handsome”

     

     “Where is Jenny?” the Doctor asked standing next to Clara, as if for protection.

 

     Madame Vastra looked down at the ground, how to tell them. She only showed them, Jenny’s room was empty. Answers were given, she was sent back in time and reappeared in her room ninety years older than she was. Weeping Angels, it was. Clara had given her condolences but the Doctor had been enraged.

 

     “Jenny,” the Doctor had whispered. Jenny as saved so many times by the Doctor he had forgotten. She had been a good friend, a good confident and times a friend to cool his rage.

 

    “Doctor,” Clara whispered but he had moved away from her touch as if she was made of fire.

 

     He made his way upstairs to a guest room, ignoring Clara and Madame Vastra. Clara linked arms with Madame Vastra as they both had poured themselves tea. Clara had filled one of her dearest and closest friends on what exactly happened, her heartbeat and her immortality. Ashildr and her many other adventures, exploring her sexuality and of course yearning for the Doctor. “How long has it been?” Clara asked.

 

   “A few hundred years,” Vastra replied taking a sip of her tea. “So you and the Doctor kissed, uh?”

 

  “Yes,” Clara replied, a little annoyed. She knew Vastra and Jenny had been encouraging the two to admit their feelings, but she didn’t want to talk about it now. He had a new face- again and this time he was too different. He was silly, wonderful and romantic and with an edge. He was sharp and yet bruised.

 

“Oh! That just makes my day so much better! Tell me more!”

 

“He needed me to recharge himself, he was using me and frankly I’m not too happy about it”.

 

“Clara, he needs you. Although it was not the right way to ask, he really does need you and sometimes he has bizarre ways of recharging”.

      

 “I probably should go to him,” Clara suggested.

 

Vastra gave her a wink, as she went. She brought her another tea for the Doctor. Maybe he would feel better if she had brought him tea. When she knocked on the door, she had heard no answer. She opened to find him sitting down and playing with his sonic screwdriver. “Doctor?”

 

“Clara?”

 

He gave her a sharp look and looked at the tea. He mumbled a thanks and took a sip of it. He gave her a content smile. “I’m sorry I took advantage of you earlier”.

 

He motioned her to sit next to him. There was something different, an intense air that set the mood weirdly. He smiled sweetly at her, and lifted her chin and pressed another kiss to her lips. She was so soft and welcoming. Warm and tender. Memories of their earlier kiss came back to her, she stood still but breathed up for air her eyes unblinking she rested her head against him.

 

“Wait stop, it wasn’t right for you to take advantage of me. You can’t just kiss me when you want to recharge”.

 

“I understand, it’s just when I kiss you, I can’t think anymore. I have a lot more confidence, but I’m scared- and I don’t know why”.

 

“Trenzalore changed a lot in you, I know. Grief can change a person, specifically you”.

 

“Clara?” he asked holding her hands to his chest where his hearts were. “when I’m ready I want you to know, that both of my heart are yours”.

“You’re so sweet, I missed that,” she said sadly. She moved her hands to his neck she ran his fingers through his unruly black hair. “your hair is so unkempt”.

 

He looked at her lips and pressed her close. “We should get some sleep”.

 

“Yeah, about the universe being tearing apart because we’re together? Was that a lie?”

 

“Probably, to protect the universe from me. They were afraid we were afraid we loved each other so much that the universe would explode. It was a lie alright. We’ll figure it out, together. Now what do you say let’s get some sleep?”

 

   She nodded and saw the nightgown prepared for her on the bed. Taking a look at the Doctor, he rolled his eyes and turned around as she undressed. She slipped under the covers and watched the Doctor for a minute. His large figure was turned into a fetal position. For a minute she found him adorable, he felt her eyes at his back. Sometimes he doubted why she found him attractive, in many ways she told him and of course he rebuffed her.

 

He thought about their exchange the other day, lifting her against him just the slightest, it was filled of longing and desire he never knew he would feel this way again, not after Rose Tyler or River Song. Clara was different, as he looked at her she smiled slightly at him. Her eyes were closing, but her lips were framed into a permanent smirk.

  



	5. Angels

Clara woke up, on the bed was a breakfast, the Doctor had already woken up before her. “Vastra left it on the other side of the door”. She took her tray enthusiastically and sat across from the Doctor. “How did you sleep?”

 

Clara looked up from her tea and smiled shyly at his new found kindness. “Not very great”.

 

“Me neither,” he replied with a hint of apathy.

 

       They both raced downstairs, as Madame Vastra was in her normal attire, with her head in the newspaper, her heart stopped. Her green mouth had formed into an “o” shaped. She sat down and handed the paper to Clara. On the heading was “Moving Statues in New York”. The Doctor had grabbed it abruptly out of Clara’s hand and looked to the sky, an angel standing on a church winked at him.

 

       They all sat down in the war room, devising a plan. In the corner was Clara and the Doctor discussing Weeping Angels. Vastra had left them alone, they were engaged and fixated with each other, and for once the Doctor didn’t have the attention span of an eight year old.

 

“So they are Time Lords that have been changed into another race?” Clara asked.

 

“Perhaps,” the Doctor mused giving her a smirk, placing two hands  behind his back.

 

“Will you two stop?” Vastra snapped, her fingers busy in her calculations. “You two of been making eye sex to each other all day. Will you please stop talking and help me?”

 

   The Doctor and Clara exchanged glances, and walked over with blushing smiles and helped Madame Vastra. In the hopes of finding out where the Weeping Angels were hiding, there was an abandoned warehouse that Vastra had located. Clara had her own sonic screwdriver, and so did the Doctor. They were comparing it to each other, which one was better. The Doctor was reminded of a conversation a long time ago with himself. Chinny and Matchstick man, oh yes when he was younger when he was handsome.

 

   He looked down at his hands, oh yes he was younger, it was easier to run and sprint, he was a lot older in his previous incarnation. His skin was wrinkled and worn out, it was some time getting used to this new bodies’ energetic enthusiasm about everything. His tongue slipping into Clara’s mouth earlier surprised his younger self. One version slapped himself the other half simply enjoyed it too much.

 

  He knew him and Clara were never a possibility since the first moment they met. Now it was never possible, the universe was being destroyed because of them, because he was selfish he wanted her to be with him always. He didn’t have the chance to tell her then at the blink of whatever their relationship could be the universe was destroying them.

 

  Clara looked in the Doctor’s direction he was talking to himself like always. He was being distant ever since they left the house. She supposed to be expected, this was the Doctor after all. Whatever it was he was hiding it from her. Was it the kiss? One of them? Were they never going to be anything more than just friends?

 

Vastra called Clara over as she shined a light on one of the statues. “Is it moving?” the Doctor asked rather stupidly.

 

“Turn out your sonic screwdrivers,” Vastra demanded.

 

The Doctor and Clara immediately turned theirs out in the same time as Vastra turned off all her devices. When the lights had turned back on again, a statue had a grabbed Clara’s ankle.

 

“Doctor, one of them has caught me,” she breathed.

 

   He took both off her hands and pulled herself toward him hoping that he wouldn’t fall on him. Both of them were caught in an awkward position, caught in a rather an awkward embrace. She reached for the the light at the end of her sonic screwdriver as the Weeping Angel scratched the floor succumbing back into the darkness.

 

  Nevertheless Clara had fallen on top of him, his hand near her ass, massaging her middle back. Her hand was near his neck, where his black hair met his neck. It was soft to the touch, smooth and warm, she looked at the curve of his mouth, she wondered what it would be like to kiss him again. She flashed to the memory of their kiss before, it was hot and intense and yet gentle. His soft mouth breathing into her neck sent shivers down her spine. He was so strong, picking her up, as his hair tickled her neck.

  
  They both got up at the sudden sound of the flashing of lightning, holding hands, The TARDIS materialized around them, with the box surrounded by Weeping Angels.


	6. Bittersweet

 

       The Doctor screamed over the TARDIS warning signs, he pulled Clara close to him. The TARDIS tipped over, the lights flashing, the Doctor had yelled at Vastra for interfering. Clara pressed the coordinates, and pulled the lever. 

 

The Weeping Angels had followed them through the time vortex, for awhile they had followed them one had ripped through the door. “Nothing could get through those doors!”

 

“Well apparently not, Dumbo!” Vastra yelled over the alarm. 

 

“Did she just call me DUMBO?!” the Doctor screamed. 

 

Clara rolled her eyes at his childish attitude. “Greenie!” she heard him yell back. 

 

        The lights had flickered, the Weeping Angels had begun to move into the TARDIS. Clara had begun to move towards the the door try to close it behind them. She felt the Doctor on her shoulders pulling her towards him. 

 

“I lost you too many times, you come back here to my side!”

 

 “I didn’t ask for your protection!” she yelled over the time winds, she felt the tug of them, pulling her towards her death. The universe had demanded it.

 

“You don’t have to ask!” he shouted. 

 

He helped her close the doors and pulled her back firmly. Clara slapped him on the shoulder. 

 

“What did you do that for?”

 

He rubbed his shoulder childishly and pouted, she gave him a sharp look and sent the coordinates. The TARDIS had landed, the Doctor had opened the doors. “Are we home?” was the first words out Vastra’s mouth. “The Weeping Angels interfered with the time vortex, they sent us back in time to the 1920’s”. 

 

Clara was the first one brave enough to step on the soil, it crunched beneath her feet. She felt a hand in her own. “Clara, this has never happened before. I don’t know what would happen if you stayed here. Come into the TARDIS please”. 

 

His hands were on her shoulders, which she had to admit was comforting but what was really the harm? They were safe in 1920’s England. The mud had warmed her cool feet and started her frozen heart. It beated slowly at first, when the Doctor had grabbed her hand it started a flutter in her stomach. “There’s no harm,” she repeated to herself. She kept walking in a trance, she heard the Doctor call her name, but she didn’t find the will to go back. 

 

The universe demanded her death, and she felt the pull of it weighing her down into the earth’s embrace. “Doctor!” Clara screamed as one of the angels had grabbed her foot again. The sun had began to go down, the faint stars had begun to appear. 

 

“Clara!” he screamed. 

 

“Doctor!” Vastra ran after him. “If your theory is true then the Time Lords will be after you!”

 

“I don’t care!”

 

Clara had a bit of blood coming out her forehead from the angels, she reached for the Doctor. She was mumbling something to herself to him. He told her not to talk as he soniced the vortex the Weeping Angels using. The vortex closed as Clara’s arms wrapped around the Doctor’s shoulder, she put her legs around his waist. She felt like a large baby, being carried off after a long day of school. The TARDIS was closer, and Clara could feel her heartbeat start to come back. 

 

      As Clara was set down, the night sky had snuffed out the light. She mumbled something, even though she was unconscious. “I love you,” she whispered. The Doctor pretended not to hear it, he was too busy getting them out the mess. They broke through the vortex, Clara could feel herself waking up, she didn’t know how, the vision was blurry, but somehow she willed the coordinates and took them to Gallifrey, her heart restarting, it wasn’t safe and she was determined to fix it. To be with the Doctor, travelling in the TARDIS. As it should be.  

 

The Doctor looked at her with a curiosity, and looked at the coordinates, he sighed with relief. “Clara, you’re brilliant! Absolutely amazing!” He pressed a kiss to her head as she released a weak laugh.

 

      “What did you do?” Vastra screamed looking at the monitor. “We could have destroyed them! You took me away from home! From Jenny!”

 

     “Madame Vastra calm down!” the Doctor snapped. Vastra gave her a sharp look of surprise, the Doctor looked impressed and a little scared. “We got away from the Weeping Angels, we’ll take you back to Jenny- wait a minute Jenny is dead…”. 

       Vastra slapped him across the face. “Don’t you dare speak her name!”

 

       She willed herself to one of the guest rooms. 

 

       “Well it’s good to be on an adventure again,” Clara laughed, sleepily looking at the Doctor. 

 

      He kneeled by her side. “You look pale. I’ll bring you back to the medical bay”. 

 

     “It felt nice,” she admitted. “My heart restarting again. Especially when I’m with you Doctor, the way you carried me”. 

 

     “Well couldn’t let you die again, can I?” he teased. 

 

     She rolled her eyes and gave him a sharp look. “I love you”

 

     “Clara-”

 

    “I mean it”.

 

    “All you could do for me now is get some rest”. 

 

     To have Clara by his side again, was comforting, almost losing her again was not. After a long silence of holding her in his arms taking her to the medical bay he whispered, “It was good to be with you again, Clara”. 

 

    “My Doctor,” she whispered and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. 

  
    He pulled her closer to him, and kissed the top of her head. “My Clara, don’t ever put yourself in that danger again to save London or me”.

    Clara 300 yrs old

     January, 2317 Earth Time

  
      She said it again, “I love you” during the time when she thought she would never see Clara again. It was during one of their many adventures. They had said it before, but it had an entirely different meaning just as friends, very close friends. Clara had of course liked both boys and girls, lusting after Ashildr was different then lusting after the Doctor. He had pushed her away but in the meantime Ashildr had been flirting with her, during teaching Clara Gallifreyan she would run her hand over Clara’s making little circles on her legs.

     Ashildr had many lovers, and Clara was afraid she would never live up to them. Their relationship was at once advantage, they were both immortal. Finding her balance, Clara had collapsed on her canopy bed, with her sonic screwdriver she turned on the light and took out her journal. It came with the TARDIS, and she wrote constantly. The first few hundred pages was her constantly dreaming about the raven, threats she had received from other Time Lords and of course one Time Lord in particular- the Doctor. 

   A knock came on the door, as she whispered the command to come in, a tray of tea placed itself on her bed. She thanked the TARDIS as she grunted in reply. Ashildr followed. “Clara, can I talk to you for a minute?”

 

“Have you find out yet how to restart my heartbeat? Anything about the Doctor?”

“He’s fine, he’s safe I think”. 

“It’s his thirteenth, I think,” Clara smiled. 

“Nothing about your heartbeat, I’m sorry Clara. It’s the truth. You’ll have to face the raven”. 

“I know,” Clara replied sadly. “What if he remembers me, when he regenerates?”

“It’s a possibility,” Ashildr replied, her impassive expression in tact. 

    She hopped on Clara’s canopy bed and took her hands, the small hands that she loved. “I know that I said somethings when we came back to the TARDIS. I’ve had many lovers, and some I’ve had for power and for wealth. But I like you Clara-very much”.

“I enjoy the nights we spent together,” Clara replied hesitantly. “it’s more than that, uh?”

“I know I will never replace the Doctor, but I just thought you should know”. 

Clara gave her a soft linger kiss, her tongue swirling in Ashildr’s mouth as she put Ashildr’s small body on her own. She tasted different, toxic and bittersweet. 

                                                           ________

        Clara woke up from her dream, she wondered why the memories of her immortal life was coming back to her. She pretended to be asleep as the Doctor had covered her with the wool blanket. As she woke up her eyes blinked into focus. She ordered the TARDIS to dim the lights  and in a dizzy haze had pulled the Doctor close. 

 

“Get some please, you’re not feeling well”.

“You’ve got to tell me you don’t want to. I meant what I said”.

“Your delusional, get sleep”. 

     Her flirtatious smile faded and anger took over. She pulled the blanket over her face and let the darkness take over. 


	7. Shaken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Believe me I am so sorry for the slow burn XD
> 
> So how long until the Doctor and Clara admit their feelings?

 

The Doctor watched from a distance, standing against the doorway he saw a grunt coming from the TARDIS. He knew what she saw saying, the small voice of their telepathic connection told him so. He gave her a small smile and traced the expression on Clara’s face. “Are you okay?”

 

“I feel better,” she smiled. 

 

The TARDIS had brought her tea and biscuits. She took a bite and dipped it into her tea. “Tell me, what have you been since I was gone? And don’t leave any part out new companions, new wives or girlfriends”. 

 

He blushed. “No new wives, or girlfriends. I had a companion for a while, Bill Potts”. 

 

“Her last name was Potts?” Clara teased. Clara knew the Doctor was a big fan of Dick Van Dyke and had seen many, it not all of his movies. One of his characters had the last name of Potts. 

 

 “Shut up!” the Doctor snapped.

 

“I missed your friendship,” she replied softly. “Hey, do you want to have a sleepover?”

 

Her eyes were dancing with mirth, she told him to wait outside as she got her pajamas, joining her, he found a rockstar t-shirt from his previous regeneration, he thought Clara would enjoy that. Was he trying to impress her? He knew he didn’t need to try hard, she had already fell in love with him. He wanted to tell her that too, but now as they had made their way toward a king size bed, she snuggled against him. 

 

He felt his Scottish ego coming back, being the voice of reason for him. Threatening to push her away again. No, he was different this time around, he was going to love her like no one had ever loved her, not even Danny. 

 

Danny was dead, Clara grieved, did she still grieve and yearn for him?

 

He pressed a water compress to the crusty blood that was becoming a scar. Her eyes were fixated on the screen, his hand glowed a little regeneration energy had healed her scar. Clara felt the warm, welcoming feeling on her head. “No, Doctor. Don’t. You. Dare”. 

 

He got out of her grip. “So what I’m not supposed to let you live?”

 

“It’s my choice. The universe had demanded my death. It needs me to die”. 

 

“The universe doesn’t get a say anymore!”

 

“I’m human, I’m not like you! If I heal I’ll do it my way. I’m not a child, Doctor!”

 

“Will you stop being so stubborn and let me help you?”

 

She got off the bed, through the sonic screwdriver at his face and left the room. He heard the door slam, and broke down running his fingers through his black hair. 

 

                                                                                                     _____________

 

        Men, are stupid especially those who are alien. She didn’t ask for his protection, and she definitely did not ask for him to give up how many years of regeneration just for her safety. This was her choice. Why didn’t he understand that? 

 

She heard a knock on the door, her heart filled with anger once again. It was just the TARDIS who had draped a blanket over her shoulder. She took a sip of the chocolate milk. Why was the TARDIS being so nice to her?

 

“The Doctor is an idiot,” Clara whispered to herself. 

 

The TARDIS groaned in reply, agreeing with her. 

 

In every word he told her, she swore she knew he loved her, but to say it literally would have been nice. A few hundred years of distracting herself with Ashildr, was different, there were a lot more arguments, and the dynamic was much more toxic than what she had with the Doctor. Anything they did was to distract Clara from the Doctor and Ashildr had succeeded, with ever kiss and every shaken breath brought on by climax, Clara forgot. They had other adventures that took place outside the bedroom, to try and find the Doctor’s memories. 

 

_ Clara stepped on the squishy planet in her space suit, it was a flower that was said to cure amnesia, she and her companion were travelling from planet to planet to try and find this rare exotic flower. Clara had found the flower eventually, covered in blue liquid she had hopped over the TARDIS, bouncing along the weak gravity of the planet she called her companion to her side.  _

 

_ The sky was red, purple, blue and green mixed together in a mosaic of colors. The hue was dazzling and bleeding through the sun and the three moons that had set, Ashildr watched in amazement. Immortality, suited Clara. In the beginning Clara was ready to die, now she was addicted to the stars and she didn’t want to face the raven even if the universe told her so.  _

 

_ Jealousy had sneaked up a long time ago in Ashildr’s cold heart when this fever of Clara’s started. She waited for Clara to stop, hoping it would eventually end. But it never stopped, not for the queen of the universe. Not for Clara Oswald.  _

 

Clara decided to stop grieving, she took the blanket off and opened the door of the TARDIS. On the door was a note. “Meet me outside”. 

 

Curiosity lead her to the doors of the TARDIS, she opened it to beautiful garden. The Doctor was in the middle of it- painting?! 

 

She would only guess 17th century France she could tell by the costumes, she didn’t bother to change she had stopped doing that along time ago. She took a easel, from the folder that the Doctor had brought and sat down next to him on a picnic blanket. 

 

“So is this your way of an apology?”

 

“I suppose so. There is no aliens around here, I’ve checked. This is a break”.

 

"I'll hold you to that, mister". 

 

"Control freak," he mumbled. 

 

“I didn’t know you could paint, let alone draw,” Clara laughed as she looked at the painting. It was her, as plain as could be, her hair was askew, unkempt, in her hair were stars and universes. 

 

“I see you,” he smiled. 

 

Clara raised an eyebrow. “That’s how you see me?”

 

“Yes,” he simply stated, a little louder. “I see universes in your hair”. 

 

He was the Doctor, with sadness in his eyes and his broken hearts. Big sad eyes that had met her own. They stared at each other for a long moment, before Clara had brought herself to draw.  

 

It had happened before, a pain that was somehow warm and comforting. She blushed to herself, she looked at the Doctor and called his name. “What?” he mumbled half paying attention to the painting in front of him and half paying attention. 

 

She raised a hand to his cheek and saw him gulp in anticipation. She pressed a soft kiss to his lips and smiled at his reaction. His eyebrows were raised, his cheeks were flushed and he looked a little shy. He cupped her cheek and gave her a long hungry kiss. 

 

Still holding to each other, Clara had a question on her lips. “Can anyone see us?”

 

It would be embarrassing two immortals, one alien, one girl with a frozen heartbeat. “No, there’s an invisible force field around us. They can only see a bush”. 

 

“Okay, good,” she laughed and pulled into another kiss. 

 

“Is this something we do now?” the Doctor asked holding a loose piece of Clara’s hair. 

 

“I hope so,” she giggled. 

  
  



	8. Oxegon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update.

The Doctor blushed profusely, he straightened his back and continued painting. Clara let her head rest on the Doctor’s lap, he looked down and stroked her chestnut brown hair, it grew more since when she had got it cut. She murmured something in Gallifreyan, she had learned in for a while, to butter up to the Time Lords. She hated them, hated what they had did to the Doctor trapping him in his own confession, putting him torture for two and a half billion years. When she woke up after a quiet nap she asked the Doctor. “How long has it been since you last saw me? Tell me what happened”.

 

“Told you, Bill Potts,” he abruptly replied.

 

“Yeah, she briefly told me about her. Why did she want to leave?”

 

“She knew I was regenerating, she didn’t want to deal with that, so she left. Simple as that, not a lot of people were understanding as you, Clara Oswald,” he explained as she sat up.

 

“Do you miss her?”

 

“Yeah, she was one of my best friends, and she leftt. Companions leave, some are trapped, some die like you- look at what I did to you- you died-”

 

“But I’m immortal,” she replied matter of factly.

 

“Not for long, there is the Mire repair kit, we could look for one. We could go for a relaxing break- no adventures I promise,” he replied, rather sweetly.

 

Clara yelped happily and in surprise, she wrapped her arms around the Doctor and kissed him on the cheek. “Oh,thank you!”

 

Both laughing into the TARDIS, the Doctor pressed the coordinates, seeing Clara happy, giving her hope just before, in case the Mire doesn’t work, he heard the telepathic connection between him and the TARDIS talking to him in Gallifreyan. A dance, that’s all on the TARDIS, with music. Hopefully she wouldn’t be in the mood for cuddling, it would be much harder to say no to her, not until they got the Mire repair kit.

 

Grabbing Clara’s hand, he switched the setting on the sonic screwdriver they landed on the the top of the TARDIS. Scrambling for balancing she slammed into the Doctor, he held her by the waist. “It’s okay, there’s a gravitational force field around the TARDIS, we’re safe”.

 

“Okay, and you didn’t tell me before we got here?”

 

“Sorry,” he mumbled.

 

She took his hand as he lead her around the dance floor. He spun her around which made her giggle. “Doctor-have you ever been in love before. I know you had wives but were you ever in love with any of them?”.

 

“Of course,” he replied nonchalantly.

 

“Not like a platonic love, like romantic love”.

 

“I did fall in love many times Clara, I’m over two billion years old of course I had. There was Calisto, she was named after a moon, she was my first wife, then there was River and Rose-”

 

“I don’t actually need to hear how you-”

 

“Jealousy now, Miss Oswald?”

 

“Shut up, and dance with me,” she snapped.

 

He dipped Clara into the nest of stars, she knew she wouldn’t fall but the thrill excited her. She felt oxygen coming back to her, then coming out of her, she was still just an image. She felt sleepy, and grasped the Doctor’s hand a little tighter. “Clara, what’s wrong?”

 

“Doctor, my heart,” she explained.

 

He lifted her up in his arms, like she was just a feather, she felt almost like a ghost. She was just a frozen living image. Ashildr’s words echoed in his head, he summoned his life force, the yellow energy had glowed from his hand, and into Clara’s heart.

 

“You’re going to be okay Clara,” he promised.

 

It wasn’t a promise he knew how to keep, he risked time and space for her, went into his own timestream, went into her timeline trying to stop her death that the universe needed. He went toward the center of the universe, trying to restart her heartbeat. Ashildr was right, he broke the laws of time to make sure Clara was alive and safe and now she may not be.

 

__________

 

Her room in the TARDIS reminded her of her old room when she used to be a nanny to the Maitlands, she wasn’t even sure she was that same person anymore. She wasn’t just Clara, anymore she became like the Doctor, she loved the taste of the stars. She had the blood of the stars coursing through her veins and it weighed heavily on her shoulders.

 

She felt the sharp intake of oxygen, regeneration energy- the Doctor. Of course it was him, she remembered dancing that was for sure, and then feeling faint. Ashildr used to give her some third party painkillers she got off the market, the pain would go away, but only for a few days. She missed Ashildr, sometimes they were good companions and good friends.

 

The breath of life, coursing through her. When she was travelling with the Doctor she felt her days were numbered, she would be killed any moment, by a Dalek, by a Weeping Angel through any of their adventures. When she became immortal it didn’t matter so much, anymore, what if she became human again? What if their happy ending was cut short.

 

She felt a breath of the Doctor’s lips on her forehead, he was taking her temperature.

 

“How often do these episodes happen?”

 

“Good morning to you too,” Clara said sarcastically.

 

He asked the question again. “Ever couple or so hundred years”.

 

“I can tell when you’re lying, Ashildr is right we’re too much alike. They are happening more frequently now, right?”

 

“Yes,” she replied.

 

He pulled the woolen black and white pattern blanket over her and smoothed her long hair. Their adventures would just have to wait for another time.


	9. Red Checkered

 

They hadn’t kissed yet, in the past few days, although Clara had began to understand why the Doctor chose to be so little involved in relationships, immortal didn’t mean living forever, immortal meant seeing everyone else you love dying. Ashildr, was the only person who had understood that. 

 

She chose to explore the library, which the Doctor had rarely showed her.  She did her Gallifreyan homework, hoping to at least learn more about the language and hopefully write with it. It was beautifully how the little circles intertwined with each other, making circles mean words. She used to doodle circles in her notebook during college, little did she know it was another language. 

 

The healing, which the Doctor did every now and then, didn’t work as much as both of them would hope. Clara’s heart was beating again although the Doctor didn’t say why. The last time they actually talked was when the Doctor actually seemed upset that she was having these episodes. Although it was something that sounded good, that meant Clara’s time was running out, there had to be a way to keep her immortal. 

 

Happitopia was the number one planet for beaches, Clara had found it, in one of the Doctor’s travel books for planets. She pressed in the coordinates herself, she got dressed, found a two piece bathing suit. When she went to the console room, with just her bathing suit and a book, The Time Traveller’s Wife she found an appalled shocked Doctor. 

 

“Down boy,” she said giving him a kiss on the cheek. Smiling slightly, he saw as Clara left the TARDIS with a two piece red checkered bathing suit. He gulped audibly, he was was pretty sure the TARDIS had heard. Clara hadn’t said down boy to him since they had first met. When he was younger looking and more handsomer, he was that now again he wasn’t sure how to flirt again, of course he could ask his previous incarnations. 

 

No, that would be too embarrassing. 

 

He walked outside to Clara who had already set up her umbrella, and a beach blanket. How simple could it be?  _ I love you, I’m just terrified you won’t like me the way you like it when I was younger.  _

 

“Doctor! You scared the living daylights out of me!”

 

“Sorry,” he said putting his hands in his pockets. “Do you want some company?”

 

“Sure, come sit down”

 

He was still wearing his gray suit, she rolled her eyes she knew he could never wear a bathing suit in front of her. It still bothered him, he saw her in a bathing suit once, a long time ago he erased it from his memory. The air was getting muggy and humid, he didn’t know if it was his cheeks flushed or the weather. 

 

He licked his finger and pointed it up to the sky, and said. “Petrichor”

 

“Huh?” she asked 

 

“It's the pleasant smell of rain after a long period of dry weather. This planet is going through global warming”. 

 

“Then it’s a universal thing, yeah?”

 

“We should leave soon,” the Doctor pointed out. Clara pulled him down next to her, he yelped out a surprise laugh. 

 

“Just enjoy the sun and the moment and stay shut up,” she smiled hiding her annoyance as she buried her head in her book. 

 

“Whatever you say boss,” he chuckled. He missed that, her guiding the direction of the kisses they had shared over the years, suggesting where to go. Telling him the difference between right and wrong. 

 

She pulled him down to the sand, the grains filled his hands, grained up rocks, filling his young hands. Clara’s naked skin touched his jacket, he felt the heat rise to his cheeks, and his eyes glisten from the brightness of an alien sun. He reached for her hand, which she took for a sign of a affection. Her skin, was burning sun poisoning, it wasn’t just that her skin was aging faster than her body. 

 

He picked her up, and materialized them into the TARDIS. She whimpered, he wrapped her in her bath towel and set her down in her room. He smoothed her skin, the aging, the wrinkles disappearing the more he had touched her. One arm was around his neck, forcing him down until their faces were inches apart. “Kiss away the pain Doctor,” she pleaded. 

 

“I’m not going to take advantage of you, not when you’re like this”

 

“I’m giving you the advantage, I’m sick Doctor”. 

 

“What do you need?”

 

“You”

 

He scooted next to her, regeneration energy flowing through him as he gave her little kisses. He felt the sickness leave her- whatever it was vanish as he took advantage to express how much he had missed her over the centuries. He kissed her fingertips, her scars, they disappeared. “I love you”

 

“Shush, be quiet now. This will all be over soon.”

 

He promised he would find a cure, there had to be something else besides a Mire repair kit, she didn’t want him to end up like Ashildr. A cure, something. He was desperate, it was best to leave Clara out of it. He couldn’t bear it seeing her, aging so quickly and dying. The life draining out of her, this was it, the Doctor was gone it was just  _ him.  _

 

Clara, new the Doctor didn’t sleep he had a bad case of insomnia too many years of losing people he loved and friends, she knew him too well. So she had said it again, the words she promised never to say to anyone else, the words she knew the Doctor could never keep or say back. What was important was that they were running together again. 

 

The Doctor came back to her, he couldn't find anything, without risking any trouble of opening old wounds of enemies. He wondered in Clara was alright, if she was safe right now, the monitor told him that she was. Finding the courage to sleep, he rested his forefinger on his forehead and drifted off into a peaceful sleep that he hadn’t had in a long time. 


	10. Duty of Care

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the views and the kudos :)

_ Sun poisoning.  _ Clara looked back at her hand, she saw a few wrinkles, she reached her hair as she grabbed a large piece of her hair. She looked in the mirror and washed her face, it wasn’t a hallucination. She felt a hand on her shoulder, the Doctor. “You look pale,” he commented. 

 

“Thanks,” Clara replied sarcastically.

 

“How are you feeling?”

 

“Fine,” she lied. 

 

“You don’t look fine,” he argued. 

 

“Why don’t you take my word for it?” she asked, moving out of the bathroom and into her room. 

 

“Because you’re not fine,” said the Doctor he pulled her into his lap. “I know when you’re lying”.

 

“We know each other too well,” Clara said as she moved to rest her head on the Doctor’s lap. To afraid to touch her, afraid she’ll fall apart right at his fingertips. In this body he felt more confident, more secure, seeing Clara falling apart slowly shook him. 

 

On her heart she felt a sense of warmth, the aging went away her hair fell back into place. Clara gave him a  _ I’m gonna kill you  _ look, and sat back up. “I never asked you to take care of me,” she told him. She told him that before, millions of times. 

 

“You shouldn’t have to ask,” he said and gave her a gentle kiss on the forehead. She lifted her chin and caught his lips, his eyebrows widened in shock, he took her hands, and kissed her back, just a sweet kiss. 

 

She leaned in again but the Doctor caught her. “Clara, stop. Our journey will be delayed a while”. 

“But didn’t the kisses you gave me the other day helped me the heal me better then your regeneration energy, better then you giving a hundred years of your life away”. 

 

“I guess we can go for a quick break, if you want to come”

 

He changed the subject as he he often did when things got too serious between them. She changed into a quick summer dress, and met the Doctor in the console room. 

 

___________

 

 It wasn’t like the Orient Express, it was on a beach on Earth, just as Clara would like, there were no aliens in sight. No diseases, so plagues just the calming presence of the ocean and the water. The water was a turquoise blue, Clara dipped her feet in the water and began swimming. Her half naked body, was adrift. She let her body float. 

 

The Doctor took off his shoes and stood with arms hugging his knees, trying to hide something. He was aroused, Clara was half naked for the second time again, Clara wrapped a towel around herself and took what seemed to be a sonic screwdriver. Finally she had got a the Doctor’s attention. “Isn’t that a sonic screwdriver?”

 

“I made it with help from my TARDIS, probably Ashildr has it been causing trouble,” Clara said looking to the stars. 

 

“She does what she wants, she’s unattached alone in the universe”

 

“Sometimes it's not better to be alone”

 

“Not so bad if you prefer it,” the Doctor said doodling in the sand with a stick. 

 

“I was about to sonic your guitar here,” she said twisting the setting. 

 

“Can you do that?”

 

“It's my turn Doctor, to surprise even you,” she said with a flirtatious wink. 

 

Was she flirting with him? Something she hadn’t done for a long time. The guitar appeared in his hand, he smiled and strummed a few cords. She hooked her arm with his and rested on his arm. “What are you doing?”

 

“Cuddling, do you mind?”

 

“No, not at all,” he replied. “Come here”

 

“Why?”

 

“Let me for once take control of you, ” he replied with a smirk. 

 

He was flirting with her, and she liked it. Every time their friendship changed, and sometimes the change was good

 

She sat in front of him, he pulled her by the waist against him, she took a sharp intake of breath, a gasp as she felt the Doctor’s breath on her neck. He guiding her hand on the guitar, he saw the song Pretty Woman, a song she heard a long time ago when the Doctor played it once. “I love this,” Clara whispered and she leaned back against him. ‘You know I love you, right?”

 

“Hmmm”

 

“Doctor, talk to me”

 

“I rather speak in actions then words,” he replied. 

 

“Stop teasing me, Doctor,” Clara said, her voice was almost annoyed. 

 

He got up and brushed the pants off. He saw anger settle on her face. “Why don’t you ever talk to me? About how you feel about me?”

 

“Because it might make it real, and I don’t want you to be embarrassed by a two and a half million year old alien,” he said pointing to his body. 

He looked down, he crossed his hands behind his back and said “I’ll meet you back in the TARDIS”. 

 

These situations where they were close to almost touching, almost lost in each other. Then the Doctor turns into a coward a big coward, he was the bravest man she ever knew, a soldier without a gun, when it came to showing emotion he hid away to his small corner of the world. 


	11. You Left me Undone

“Alright,” Clara announced as she walked into the Doctor’s room. “We’re going to put the past behind us, and we’re going to try to build up our friendship, again”. 

 

The Doctor looked up to Clara. “Okay, alright, if that’s what you wanted. Come here and sit I have Games of Thrones and a lot of television shows you might like”. 

 

Clara beamed at him and sat down next to him, getting blankets and popcorn the TARDIS had made. The energy between them was building in between the theme song playing they kept exchanging glances hoping the other one was having a good time. She kept saying it was wonderful, the Doctor was her friend again, and sometimes she felt herself slipping away. She snuzled closer to the Doctor, who wrapped a blanket around them. 

 

It was probably unhealthy for them to keep lying to each other like this, ignoring how they really felt about each other. Clara had a flashback, centuries ago when she was with Danny, she kept lying to him about travelling with the Doctor. She couldn’t give him up, he was a huge impact on her life, her heart was always torn between the two. Not just the addiction of the stars and the planets, but the Doctor he was wonderful he was her friend, when he listened to her which was rare. 

 

Now the TARDIS had passed a soaring alien blue sun, it made the interior of the TARDIS feel cool, but then it passed. The monitor had glitched just as the rolling credits of Supernatural were coming to the screen. “Doctor what was that?”

 

“It was just an alien sun, we’re passing through it now, don’t worry the TARDIS will warm up and the heat will come back on”

 

“Doctor, can you warm my body? I don’t have enough energy to move,” Clara said. 

 

This is how it would usually happen, they would cuddle and then he would start wanting her, and the wanting never stopped. Her small lips, that once kissed him a long time ago. They were unpainted, he never saw her wear any lipstick, he saw many of her dresses that he loved he even went shopping with her once. After she was healed, after they sort everything out he would take her home, he talked to Missy about it, the whole situation, just let her live out her normal life. 

 

He got up from the bed, as the blue alien sun had burned passed, Clara feeling enough energy to move saw the alien sun, it was dying it was swirling at a million miles per hour swirling as stars had died, civilizations destroyed. “Clara, isn’t it beautiful?”

 

“Yeah it is,” she replied weakly. 

 

He put an arm around her and hugged her close. “It’s okay, you’ll be fine”. 

 

“No,” she said strictly. “No more regeneration energy. Let it pass”. 

 

He pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Clara, you’re dying let me take care of you”. 

 

“I choose to die, Doctor. Not you. It's my life and my decision”. 

 

“I couldn’t handle it if I lost you again,” he replied. “Do you know how many I lost? How many Clara’s? Too many of you had died, trying to make sure that I got where I needed to be, make sure I still had my companions, my friends, my girlfriends, sometimes boyfriends. You’ve done everything for me, for once let me save you”. 

 

She lost it, she fell asleep in his arms, and let the darkness carry her. She heard the Doctor shouting, for everything that she was to him. Her energy left, her essence was gone. He didn’t know what to do, he carried her to the bed, he knew what would help her, a kiss, kisses that he had given her earlier had revived her. Just to keep kissing her, just to keep touching her until she was alive under his touch again. To run together, without her dying out on him. She could live forever, he wouldn’t have to worry about he dying on him, about losing anymore friends, because she was all he ever needed. Just Clara and no one else. 

 

He left her, just as she was. This couldn’t be happening not again. He went to his home, the console room, Missy was behind the controls, she eyed him. “You know the consequences of life and death, Doctor. Don’t you?”

 

“Of course I knew, it was Clara. She’s my best friend and I-”

 

“And you love her,” Missy finished for him rolling her eyes sarcastically. 

 

“Of course I do, how could I not?”

 

“Do you know what your trouble is, Doctor? You’re the bravest man I have ever known. But when it comes to emotions you can’t handle it”. 

 

“Time Lords are wired differently, we are infinitely more complex. My emotions are different, I fall in love different, I get angry easily. I get emotional more easily”. 

 

“Which makes you more vulnerable to love. I’ve watched you Doctor, all your friends trying to keep you safe. Now it's time for you to do the same to Clara. Tell her how you feel for God’s sake. Don’t forget I’ve watched the two of you-”

 

“I get your point, Missy”. 

 

“She’s dying Doctor, her body is dying and your love is the only thing keeping her alive. Until you find a cure, that's all you need to do. Suck it up put her insecurities away, and kiss her!” Missy dragged her finger across the console, putting her middle finger in her mouth, biting her lip. “With you two it's like watching a romantic comedy”. 

 

“Missy?”

 

“Yes?”

 

“Will you hold my hand?”

 

She gave him a sad smile and took his offering hand. The TARDIS had moved Clara’s room closer Messy opened the door with her sonic screwdriver as she pushed the Doctor in with a flirtatious smoke. 

 

The Doctor, circled the bed, he crossed his arms and took Clara’s hand pressing a kiss, he heard an imaginary sigh of relief. “When I first met you, I was only 909, I was very young. I lost you twice and I found you again, just as you are. You were perfect in every way for me, you were my equal. The same adventurous look in your eyes, the same mischievous smile. Your flirting reminded me of one of my previous incarnations, you met him, he flirted with you a lot. Anyway that was not the point. You and I we went on a date, I called it a date. It wasn’t until then that I felt like I was your boyfriend. I never told you that, until a couple of stupid centuries later. I should've stopped it, but I loved it when you liked me and I liked you. Then there was that Scottish caretaker and Danny, and I couldn’t do it anymore, I put my emotions and feelings away in a box. You are the most understanding woman I have ever met, and you just pulled out the feelings one by one. I have Attention Deficit Disorder, I can’t speak long enough for you to understand how I feel about you. I hope you won’t be mad at me later for this”. 

 

He kissed her, and for a moment he thought he felt her kiss back. He held her in his arms, warmed her in a blanket and held her close. The healing energy of his hearts, gathered around her and stopped. He would have to leave her alone for a few days, let the energy settle in until she had woken up. 

 

Leaving the room, the Doctor felt Missy rubbing his shoulder. “She’ll wake up, you know”. 

 

“I hope you’re right about this. If this doesn’t work you’ll find the univer very tiny when I’m angry with you. You heard the stories, you know once the Doctor is gone, there is only me. Wrath and fury”. 

 

Missy took a short intake of breath and gave a mocking bow. “Of course.”

 

He was Lord President of Gallfirey, he was the master of the TARDIS, known for destroying the laws of time. Clara once begged him to break the rules for her, this time he would carry out this promise, because she was right, he loved her and he would come back to her. 


	12. Every Word You Spoke

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I hope I make it up to you guys for the slow burn with some fluff and smut <3

The darkness was a friend, it surrounded her, kept her safe and warm. It was a blanket, Clara felt the energy that tied her soul to her body pull. She saw her corpse, fading away, she felt the glow of regeneration energy. The Doctor, of course. Breaking the rules. She breathed in, and coughed, she heard Missy say. “Hey, you’re awake”. 

 

Clara bothered to get up. She felt all she had done was relax for the past few weeks. She reached for her sonic screwdriver but Missy- “Nah, no no and no. You’re too weak to get up, you need to relax”.

 

“Where’s the Doctor? Did you do anything to him?

 

“No of course not, the Doctor’s fine he’s waiting for you to start moving around again”. 

 

“What did you do to me?”

 

“I didn’t do anything,” Missy said with a false accusatory look. “I might have planted it in his head, but it was his idea”.

 

Clara tried to get up but her own body weight was too much for her to carry right now. “Yeah, you're not going anything for a while. So rest please for you and the Doctor. I hope you do get better, sincerely”. 

 

Clara’s eyes widened as Missy disappeared. She would talk to the Doctor later, right now she needed to regain her strength. Missy knocked her out unconsciously, she felt sleep take control of her. The Doctor felt as though Clara was in a coma, and he couldn’t wake her up even though he begged and begged her to wake up. 

 

She was in a dream, somewhere in the corner of her subconscious she was reliving her memories with the Doctor, the most happiest memories she could find. Her memories with Ashildr, kept her alive and on her toes. 

 

“Clara, are you alright?”

 

“Am I dead?”

 

“No, we’re in your subconscious. We’re in our TARDIS.”

 

Clara sat up straight, she was back in her blue waitress dress, she looked in her TARDIS, it was great to be home again- her home for five hundred years. “Think of this as our little adventure, at least until you wake up”. 

 

“I’m still asleep?”

 

“Your conscious and your body drifted apart,” Ashildr explained. “Now they are tying back together slowly”.

 

“Why are you telling me this?”

 

“I care about you Clara, and so does the Doctor. I wanted to keep you warm and happy before you wake up, take away the pain of your body joining together,” she explained. 

 

“Why do so many people want to take care of me? Why doesn’t the Doctor just let me die? I had lived a good life, until I became immortal, I was chased by Time Lords and trying to find a way to make the Doctor remember me, I just wanted my life to end”.

 

“Well neither the Doctor, nor I will let that happen,” Ashildr said determinedly, her face was impassive and hard as always although Clara swore she saw a flicker of emotion. Clara pulled Ashildr closer to her and gave her a long kiss. 

 

“You were a really good distraction,” Clara sighed. 

 

“I really did love you,” Ashildr replied sending Clara to wake up again. 

 

She was still asleep, the chains of illness weighed down on her. The warmth of the Doctor’s hand pressed against her own, filled her heart and broke the frozen chains. She didn’t need to hear the words she knew the Doctor could give, she knew it in every word he spoke. 

 

“She’s fine, Doctor,” Missy said with an arm on his shoulder. “Come on I’ll make you some tea”. 

 

“I don’t want any,” he replied coldly. “I’m going to stay here until Clara wakes up”. 

 

“That’ll be a long time,” she said, her Scottish accent carrying out. 

 

“Just shut up and leave us alone, please,” he begged, his eyes still on Clara. 

 

“As you wish,” she replied and soniced her way out of the room. 

 

The Doctor grunted, and layed his guitar near Clara’s bed, he loved painting her, he did it once a long time ago, when he was trapped in the Conffession Dial. He painted her from memory, over and over again to remember every last detail that made Clara- well Clara. To her small mouth to her big brown sad eyes, she was fragile and unbelievably human. That’s what made him fall in love with her in the first place, her fragile human skin, how easily she got hurt, how sensitive she was. She put him at his mercy, they had controlled each other. The control freak and the man who should never be controllled, they were the perfect match. 

 

“I’m going to take you on a date, an actual proper date,” the Doctor promised. “a relaxing proper date, I promise you”. 

 

He almost swear he heard Clara laugh. “I miss you, Clara Oswald more then anything in the universe. And I-I love you. Words that I can’t promise, words I know that aren’t yours, becaue I don’t know if you’ll survive this, if there will be other companions or other lovers. For now, right now those words are yours”. 

 

Clara heard them, she heard everything he had ever said to her over the past few days. She couldn’t find her voice, like it was stolen from her like in a fairytale as if a witch had stolen her voice. She breathed in quietly, because it was all she could do now. She didn’t even have to tell herself, it was just a muscle memory. She felt the Doctor’s words, her stubborn idiot Doctor who had finally admit how he felt. She made a mental note to tease him about it later, for him to crack a shy smile as she covered him in kisses. 

Clara opened her eyes. “Hi”

 

His eyes glistened in hope, he went to lay down next to her and scooped her up in his arms and placed little kisses. Clara breathed, quietly she gave a weak smile and tightened her grip around the Doctor. She felt her energy coming back. “I’m alive again”. 

 

“Yes, you are and I’m never letting you go again. Stupid Doctor, handsome genius from space, but still stupid. I was so stupid”. 

 

“You were an idiot,” Clara pointed out. 

 

“Yes, that’s true,” the Doctor agreed. 

 

“I heard everything,” Clara said. 

 

The Doctor’s eyes widened in fear and confusion. “I love you too,” was all she said. 

 

He chuckled nervously and gave her a long kiss, before he pulled away Clara reached for the base of his neck pulling him down for another kiss. Her eyes darkened, light started to come to her face, breath take over her body. “You never had to say those words to me, in every breath you took I swore I heard them. I feel so weak, I want to kiss you back so badly”. 

 

“Fight for your strength back, Clara you can do it”. 

 

She turned them over so he was on his abck and she was facing him. Her weight settled on top of him, her courage rose within her, she was going to show him who was in control. “Just let me show you- please of how much  I love you”. 


	13. Remember

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoy this chapter ;)

She left him undone, he lost control as Clara gave him a reassuring sheepish smile. For once she was shy, all the years of struggling had finally come to this. He was the Doctor, she was Clara. They started kissing, struggling at first keeping up their pace. He trailed kisses on her neck, pulling her hair back he pulled back as Clara gave an encouraging nod. He took over her sweatshirt and discarded it on the floor.

 

“I don’t know why I’m nervous,” Clara said trailing circles on the Doctor’s chest.

 

“It’s alright, I haven’t done this in a while either,” he replied offering a hand as he lead them back.

 

“Anatomically you’re human, right? No weird things I have to worry about?”

 

He rolled his eyes and let out a short laugh. “No, nothing to worry about”.

 

“Alright, could you you do something for me?”

 

His eyes were dark, he was already halfway out of his clothes, he was still worried about her no matter how much his head was full of lust. Her hands freed from freeing his throbbing erection, he looked sad but still happy. Incandescently happy, reaching for the stars yet always coming back to her, she was his grounding block. His pull to reality. “What’s wrong?”

 

“Can you take off my sweats for me? I’m not entirely strong yet”.

 

Seeing his beautiful Clara, helpless and asking for help broke his heart. He didn’t want to talk much although old fears kept coming back, telling him to stop reminding him of how many people were lost during his two billion years. Clara didn’t seem to mind, Clara looked passed that, she fell for his soul not just was he looked like. Taking off her pants, he slowly brought her to him, she told him to lay back as she trailed kisses on his abdomen through his half open shirt. She took off his question mark underpants, which she gave no comment to. The Doctor was too clouded by Clara with him, right now Clara was here. It wasn’t just sex, it was love he was making love to Clara. He almost passed out, making all his blood rush south.

 

Clara gave his erection a few strokes, he was almost ready. She took him in her mouth, moaning with pleasure as she used her tongue to trace circles on his tip. He almost shouted out her name. “Clara..oh my Clara”.

 

He unhooked her bra, her tits were full, beautiful although small dragged on his chest as she put one in his mouth. He felt Clara’s weight change as she threw her body forward. “I love you..I love you..I’m at your mercy I’m yours, Clara”.

 

She adjusted herself around his cock, the way, she fit so perfect and so tiny against him through him wild. “I want to be inside you”.

 

“Please, make me yours”.

 

Clara gave a few thrusts, slow at first, painfully slow, concentrating- the control freak inside of her wanting to make the moment last. She rested on top of him, her eyes were inflating, getting wider and wider, she felt herself come, as the Doctor rolled her over as she gave out a happy yelp of surprise.

 

Once upon a time in the Academy on Gallifrey the Doctor was told Time Lords were allowed to have one soulmate throughout their whole twelve regenerations. The Doctor never found her, or him in his lifetime, he felt it in his hearts Clara was his soulmate. He thought the idea was cheesy especially during his last regeneration, he kept his distance from Clara because he thought it was for the best. He thought it best not to tell her now, not now when he was so close.

 

He bit her shoulder, which she moaned in response, he thrust harder in response, as she smoothed his wavy black hair, pushing it out of his face as she pressed a kiss on his face. She tightened her legs around him, pressing him closer. He came, pouring into her. They both collapsed, out of breath.

 

After a moment of silence Clara finally spoke. “Wow”.

 

“Yeah, that happened,” the Doctor laughed.

 

“I just never thought it would be that way,” Clara commented. Suddenly feeling self conscious she put the blue sheets over herself.

 

The Doctor looked over to her and said “Oh?”

 

“So good,” Clara said wiping her long hair out of her face.

 

She just slept with the Doctor- they had just slept together. She felt exhaustion sweep over her, and fell asleep.

 

_____________

 

When the Doctor was asleep Clara went to get food from the kitchen. She had to think this through, there was no turning back now. Even though there were still some things they had never told each other, Clara felt extremely happy. Exhilarated, the memory of their love making made her blush. Her mouth hurt from smiling to much, she grabbed a handful of nuts and went back to her room. Where the Doctor was, holding his guitar.

 

“I’m still-”

 

“I know, me too,” the Doctor admitted.

 

“Do you realize something? Missy knew this was going to happen? She put us together,” Clara said smiling mischievously as she climbed back on the bed.

 

“She knew we were the Hybrid, the Hybrid is a fable, a story. They kept us apart because they didn’t want me ending up with- well you,” the Doctor admitted sadly.

 

“I can feel my body heat coming back,” Clara smiled. “After last night, I’m pretty sure both of us worked up some heat”.

 

“I was unpracticed, I hadn’t done that in a while,” he admitted shyly. “I’m sorry if I lost control”.

 

“I enjoyed it,” Clara beamed at him.

 

She was wearing his shirt, Clara Oswald the woman he had been in love with for four years was wearing his shirt. The very thought of their love making made his cock twitch again. He brought her over to his lap, she rested on his member, itching her sex. “I love you,” Clara whispered as his mouth went to her tits, already perked with desire.

 

She kept his mouth there, trying to keep control, she moved against his member. Her walls were already tight, moving against him the Doctor had pulled her closer, kissing her neck as they both reached their own climax, coming together. “I love you..too,” the Doctor said finally.

 

“Doctor, there is something I need to talk to you about,” Clara said, the smile disappearing from her mouth. Although her happiness still danced in her eyes.

 

“So do I”

 

“Let’s get dressed, if we’re both nearly naked then none of are not going to get any talking done,” Clara said freeing from his grip as she went into the shower.

 

The Doctor watched as her naked figure moved to the shower. He gulped audibly, the very thought of Clara in hot water made him almost want to join her. He gave her space, and waited for her as she wrapped a towel around herself. He was already dressed, in his usual outfit.

 

She lead him to the console room and pressed in some coordinates. They landed in 1950’s diner, they seated themselves and both asked for separate milkshakes.

 

“So, while I was immortal,” she started taking a big gulp of her vailla milkshake. “I went looking for a cure for your neural block. I didn’t go back to Trap Street, I wanted to travel to see everything. And I did. Ashildr, was a distraction, I was still grieving over you forgetting me she was there. I didn’t stop loving you, I kept searching for you but you kept moving. I stopped after a while, then Time Lords kept chasing me. They kept telling me the universe kept demanding my death. I love you, but I feel like there is a constant sword over my head. I don’t want to keep travelling with you, if your people are after me”.

“I’m not angry at you, I ran away first, I know what it’s like. The adrenaline and the fire and every star in every galaxy, the wonder of every culture. I remembered you, the neural block didn’t work-”

 

Clara’s eyes watered and widened in anger and confusion. “So when you came to my diner, you remembered?”

 

“Yeah, I did,” he admitted quietly.

 

“You IDIOT!” she yelled. “You made me believe you didn’t care about me!”.

 

“I know, I thought I was protecting you. I didn’t want you to still think I remembered you when you were living and travelling”.

 

“You didn’t just come to the diner by coincidence, you remembered me,” Clara spat.

 

He moved further away from her, waiting for her to smack him. “I loved you, I didn’t want you thinking I remembered you”.

 

“Why? I didn’t ask you for that, or your protection. I loved you too, if you told me to moved on I would have tried, but I didn’t I looked for you and you delete yourself from every database of the universe. Nothing will make up for what you did to me,” Clara argued back. She still looked pale, fragile and angry, he watched as she stepped into the TARDIS and slammed the door behind her.

 

He gave her time, everything she’ll ever needed he’ll give it to her. He opened the doors of the TARDIS and saw Clara running to her room- where they had just consummated their love for each other. It became their room last night, now it was the distance between them.

 

He knew he would have this kind of effect on her, her being stubborn, he took away what she was. Ashildr was right, their story was beautiful, it was tragic and it ended billions of years ago. He would just drop her back home, and everything would be fine.

 

When artificial night had settled upon the TARDIS, the Doctor once again went to Clara’s room. “Clara?”

 

“Yeah?” came the weak reply.

 

“Can we talk?”

 

“Come in,” was the nonchalant reply.

 

Her face was tear stained. “I’m so sorry Clara, for everything you have been through, I just wanted to protect you and keep you safe”.

 

“I never asked for that”

 

“Why can’t I take care of you? Why won’t you let me? Let me love you, as much as you love me”.

 

She ran into his open arms, as he closed them tight around her. “I love you, too”.


	14. Ashildr

Clara giggled as the Doctor had picked her up, pressing his mouth to her neck and lead her toward her bedroom, for the past few days it became their bedroom. She pretended to get out of his grip, she giggled as he pressed a sloppy kiss against ther neck. “We’re going to have to stop doing this,” Clara giggled as the Doctor was struggling to undo her blouse. 

 

“Doing what?”

 

“Making love almost every day, I’m not going to last forever you know, regeneration energy, how long will that last?”

 

The Doctor stopped, she was right, they kept postponing it, they got to know each other again, testing and teasing, adventures in the bedroom and other planets. They agreed that the Mire repair kit would keep her immortal, keep repairing her. Ashildr chose to forget who and what she lost, her memory couldn’t keep up. Would Clara forget her life, who she loved, maybe even more. 

 

Clara saw his doubts and took her hand in his own. “I’m right aren’t I?”

“Of course you’re right. Bossy control freak,” he laughed. 

 

“But these past few days were wonderful,” she remarked. “I wish they didn’t have to end”. 

 

“Come to the console room, I’ll try to see if I can find Mire related things, that’ll help us track them down,” the Doctor said as he made his way to the console room, Clara followed. 

 

Clara cleaned up  _ their  _ room, and put away the condoms, and straightened her blue blouse. Over the past few days she knew the Doctor as himself- not as a hero, or the Oncoming Storm- she knew him as a lover, a friend and a companion, confident and roommate. Now the dream was over, she knew, he was back to the hero to bring darkness on whoever defied him. 

 

“Clara?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Can you look up information on the Mire repair kit thing?”

 

“Why don’t we ask, Ashildr?”

 

“Ashildr?”

 

“Yeah, should I repeat it twice?”

 

“Okay, I can deal with her for awhile. She has the other one, do you think she’ll give it to us willingly?”

 

“Are we there now? At the end of the universe?”

 

“Yeah basically,” he replied as the doors opened. 

 

Clara went feeling she was going to handle this alone, until the Doctor’s eyes widened in fear. “Where are you going?”

 

“Out there,” she said dumbfoundedly, pointing to the door of the TARDIS. “Where Ashildr is, was that the whole point of us coming here?”

 

“You’re not going out there alone!”

 

“I can take care of myself,” she replied determinedly as she snapped the doors of the TARDIS open, and felt her foot hit the ground. 

 

Something was crunching underneath, it was a twig of some sort. She pulled away the cobwebs, and the dead trees and saw Ashildr, not the Ashildr that she knew. One who was hard and had her heartbroken, the one who had lost. Ashildr’s hair was longer, more brown, she wore a leather jacket. She moved her head to see Clara coming. 

 

“I know you’re out there, you might as well come, Clara”.

 

Clara straightened her jacket and gulped. “I’m not going to hurt you”. 

 

Ashildr moved to what could only be described as a tea cup, it was metal and worn out, she poured tea and handled it to Clara. “You like tea, don’t you?”

 

Clara took the cup reluctantly. “Come with me and watch the stars die out”. 

 

Clara saw one of the stars fading, it exploded into a huge supernova, it didn’t give birth to another nursery of stars, it just faded. All of the vibrant colors, all the glory that she had loved about the stars was gone. “Why would I want to watch the universe that I love, die?”

 

“Summer doesn’t last forever, Clara,” Ashildr replied coldly. “I’ve told the Doctor this before. Everything eventually fades and dies”. 

 

“You didn’t”

 

Ashildr’s eyes softened, even if just for a split moment. “I never asked for it”. 

 

“I need to ask you for a favor,” Clara began. 

 

“I know why you’re here, here time repeats itself, time is broken. You’ve come here before. I have what you need, but it’ll come with a price”.

 

“Name it”

 

The Doctor watched from the monitor, the TARDIS wouldn’t let him out. He wouldn’t let her be stupid without him, he hoped to any God that Clara was safe. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It went to happy to sad in a minute I know, things will get better I promise.


	15. At the End

The TARDIS took off, the wheezing Clara heard for the last time, she was stuck with Ashildr. She heard the price, what Ashildr wanted, to stay with her forever as every single being in the universe dies. Clara didn’t cry easy, she was a warrior, that’s what the Doctor had made her. Her heart was screaming in agony, she knew the Doctor wouldn’t leave her on purpose- she wasn’t quite sure on that and that’s what scared her. 

 

“So you know?”

 

“Of course I knew, I knew the past five hundred years,” Ashildr replied nonchalantly and pointed to the Mire repair kit. “You see this? This alien thing the Doctor put inside my head is the only thing that is keeping me alive forever- all the people I loved- yes loved, my children, my husbands, my wives, my lovers- I’ll never see them again because they all die before me. And you want the same thing, to watch everything you love die, while you just watch and do nothing”.

 

“Everyone I love is dead- my parents, Danny-everyone is gone expect the Doctor. The Doctor was the only person I loved completely”. 

 

“He’ll die too, even he has limitations,” Ashildr spat back. “How many regenerations did the Time Lords give him? How many until he dies before you? And then it’ll be you and me, the only Immortals, here forever. And that’s what I want”. 

 

“So this is my punishment?” Clara asked, her sharpness and anger rising in her voice. 

 

“Yes”

 

“Why do you sit here on your high horse? You think because you have a big red chair, that you are the queen of the universe?”

 

“You are Clara, the universe obeys you. The universe gave you a life, Clara. It chose to, because you’re  _ special _ ”. 

 

“I need it Ashildr, let me go!”

“No!”

 

Their echoes, travelled, and it never stopped because it found nowhere else to go. Everything around them was dead. “The Doctor has limitations, yes, but doesn’t happily ever after just mean a little time?”

 

“I didn’t get mine!” Ashildr spat back sharply. 

 

Clara bit back the swelling of her lungs, the tears that were forming in her eyes. She had to be brave, even for the Doctor. “The Doctor came to me once, a long time ago. He told me he was just your friend, I don’t know if he was protecting you or not. He risked all of time and space for you, he didn’t do it for just anyone. Tell me why would he risk time and space for a five foot one English school teacher, who had too many ghosts. You lost one Doctor, what makes you think the universe will give you this now?”

 

Ashildr took one sip of her tea, and tapped her fingers. “You think you’ll have Time Lord babies? Live happily ever after on the TARDIS?”

 

“Shut up,” Clara snapped. 

 

“Believe or not I don’t want to give you the repair kit, because I don’t want you to go through what I went through. So stay with me until we fall to nothing”. 


	16. Gallifrey

Ashildr was unlike any other villain Clara had faced, she was small girl, then she was a wife, a mother, a grandmother, a lover and now she was she last being at the center of the universe. Clara had memories of the Doctor to keep her company, he would find her eventually. In so many nights of passion, she made him hers. They chased each other, pouring through every star they could find and any planet that they could save. That was their rhythm, although they had been most comfortable in chaos they never had time to admit how they felt about each other. Until a few weeks ago, if she died now, they would have never had made up for lost timing. There was so many things she wanted to tell him. 

 

There had to be someway to break the Quantum Shade, to break the curse. The countdown clock on the back of her neck, the Doctor and her ignored it over the past few weeks, it was still there. Ashildr was still the owner, if she knew how to break the curse, it would all be over. She had to warm up to Ashildr again, rebuild their relationship. 

 

There was a small worn out couch that Ashildr gave to Clara to sleep on, she felt the breath of her’s breathing down her neck, stroking her desk. “Sleep well?”

 

“Is it morning?”

 

“There’s no nights or days anymore, it’s just night.”

 

She was still stroking her hair, Clara eyed her as she bolted up. “Can I talk to you?”

 

Ashildr, sat up with her legs crossed, like a child sitting down for circle time. “Of course?”

 

“When you lived on Trap Street, was there anyway of getting rid of the chronolock?”

 

Ashildr brushed the dust off her legs and looks intently into Clara’s sad soft eyes. “The Trap Street, is gone Clara”. 

 

“I know, don’t give me that crap, if we go back in time- me and the Doctor can we destroy it?”

 

“The only way to destroy a Quantum Shade is for its power to be delivered to another person, if I transfered it to you, you would be able to control death around the universe. The chronolock will disappear from you,” Ashildr explained. 

 

“So it can work?”

 

“Yes, but you’ll have to buy a deal, I got it from the Time Lords, they help humans control death by a Quantum Shade,” Ashildr explained. 

 

“That’s means I have to go back to Gallifrey,” Clara mumbled. “They’re probably hunting me after 500 years”. 

 

“Five hundred?” Ashildr’s eyes widened in curiosity.”What were you doing?”

 

“Travelling the stars,” she explained, her eyes glistening with fondness. “Every last one of them”. 

 

“Yeah I remember, future me, kind of told me,” Ashildr admitted. 

 

“I need that Mire repair kit thing, whatever it is. Even I get the Chronolock thing, I still won’t be Immortal,” Clara said sadly. 

 

“There is something I need to do first, and then I’ll help you. Do we have a deal?”

 

“Yes, of course”. 

 

Ashildr’s hardness in her eyes broke just for a minute, she took out several watches and gave one to Clara. She immediately recognized them, Jack Harkness’s time travel watches. Missy had one. Of course Missy would have never told them, it was always a lottery with her, she couldn’t tell if she was helping them or not, she was certainly encouraging their relationship, she spent most of the time in the vault, although her commentary about “sex tips”, didn’t exactly make either the Doctor or Clara feel comfortable. They were together, yes but they weren’t exactly looking for suggestions for sexy times in the bedroom. Clara initiated most of it anyway, she was the control freak after all. 

 

They were snapped before Clara could react. She felt her stomach twitch, she almost hurled, she looked for the next bush and spilled her contents. “Cheap and nasty time travel,” Ashildr smiled, giving a smirk. 

 

“You sound like Missy,” Clara commented observing where they had landed.  

 

“Maybe I am Missy,” Ashildr hinted with a smile. She saw the seriousness and the fear drained over Clara’s face. “I’m kidding. I might have gone hard over the years but I can still joke”. 

 

It was daytime, they were at Ashildr’s old house where the Doctor had visited her. They were in the sixteenth century, people had popped up in her mind. Elizabeth the first, where the Doctor might have mentioned he was married to her where she would never understand, Shakespeare and millions of other people she and the Doctor met over the years they had travelled, some of them had become their favorite planets and they revisited again. 

 

The Orient Express was the place they never talked about, the climax the start where she had to finally choose between the Doctor and Danny. She chose them both, she loved them both, ardently and fervently. She couldn’t stop having dreams about the Doctor, him tracing circles up and down her arms, pressing kisses on her neck, which he had made up for later. Danny was comforting and easy, and the Doctor wasn’t it. 

 

It was late afternoon before the two girls had succeeded in going into the house. Ashildr and Clara went up to her room where she rummaged through to find a dress. “You’re going to need one,” Ashildr said pointing towards the dresses. 

 

“I’m fine thanks,” Clara mumbled. 

 

“The truth is I lost the Mire repair kit here, I had given it to a poor guy, innocent who was going to die. We’re going to have to catch it from herself before the Doctor goes to find her”. 

 

“Who was the poor fellow, anyway?”

 

“He was ugly, annoying and not worth saving,” Ashildr said with a hint of disgust on her face. 

 

Clara followed her as she got dressed, until she heard the voices of the Doctor and Ashildr running towards to save the thief. Clara knocked a book over, making a distraction, until the repair kit came out of Past Ashildr’s hand. 

 

“Won’t that change history? Altering events like that?”

 

“No, this is a ripple in time, everything will go according to plan. You’ll still the picture of me in the background, and you and the Doctor will flirt, like you always do,” Ashildr explained.

 

“Me and the Doctor have never flirted!” Clara lied, blushing and caught of guard. 

 

“Pfft!” Ashildr scoffed. “Not according to Missy anyway.”

 

“We got the thing, what now?”

 

“Clever Clara, haven’t you figured it out by now?”

 

“Is there someone you lost you want to bring back?” Clara asked. 

 

“My father,” Ashildr replied. “He is the only person I cared enough about”. 

 

“You see?” Clara said nudging Ashildr in the shoulder. “You’ve loved.”

 

“And lost, too many times,” she heard her friend reply sadly. 

 

Clara tilted her big brown eyes, she gave a sympathetic smile as Ashidlr walked back to the place where they had landed. Clara, heard the queasiness in her stomach as they had landed, Clara picked up herself up. She waited until Ashildr’s watch had sent the coordinates to hers, Ashildr’s small hand fit into hers as they time travelled once again. Ashildr’s hand was on Clara’s shoulder as they landed in the village. 

 

___________

 

The Doctor slammed down on the breaks of the TARDIS as he just came back from another adventure, anything to distract himself from Clara’s face, the realization that dawned on him, that she could possibly be dead for good. He didn’t believe Ashildr was capable of murder, the realization that she was at the end of the universe. Stuck until the last star falls, until it was all nothing. 

 

Guilt poured through him, he couldn’t save the universe, it gotten along without him. There was nothing he could do, Clara would have told him. She would have told him to win again, to find her. To break the rules, that if he loved her he would come back. Of course he loved her, he knew it from the beginning all Time Lords knew who they would love, who they knew no matter what they would stand by them. 

 

Realization dawned upon him, he pushed the coordinates for Gallifrey. He hoped they would take him back, as their President. He doubt it, when he snapped open the TARDIS doors Gallifrey was there, but it was gone. It was like a apocalypse, no one was there. Did he enter the coordinates right? Enter the correct time zone? One of the Generals had come to greet him. 

 

He was a grey haired man, he was around his fifties, he was skinny and had lines of a hard soldier look on his face. 

 

“Lord President, you’ve returned”. 

 

“Yes I have, I didn’t enter the coordinates wrong did I? It doesn’t look like the same time as when I left”. 

 

“It is, Gallifrey is dying. If you come with me, we need your help”. 

 

“I need your help. Clara, I think she might be dead, Lord General. Again. I need your help to get to her, the TARDIS won’t take me there, it’s created some kind of paradox. I need help to break through it”. 

 

“How many times as your body changed since we last met?”

 

“Once, General. Please, I need your help.”

 

“Follow me, Lord President.”

 

___________

 

Clara found herself in the Viking village, the exact same spot where the Doctor had spinned her around in his arms, just moments ago. The past Doctor and Clara had gotten to save the village. Just as Clara and Ashildr waited until, their past selves were gone. She heard the TARDIS wheezing as she and the Doctor took off into the stars. 

 

Ashildr’s home was just a few miles away, she knocked on the door and took Clara’s hand. Clara had never seen her so vulnerable, she felt Ashildr take the Mire repair kit, a flash of anger hit her. Of course this was her plan. 

 

“Ashildr?” her father asked. 

 

“Hi father” she replied. 

 

“You look so different,” he replied. 

 

As they walked in Clara explained the whole situation to Ashildr’s father, her immortality and how she lived for millions of years for almost the entire life of the universe. Clara, stopped her from taking the Mire kit she took her sonic screwdriver out of her own jean jacket and aimed it towards Ashildr’s father. The alien technology from the Mire kit, was duplicated and transformed. 

 

Now Ashildr wouldn’t have to be alone, not ever again, she would have her father. Clara wasn’t sure if she took another trip, as they landed, they left Ashildr’s father hoping he would be there to greet her. Ashildr ran to her father’s arms, he looked older, a little bit except for hair, which he lost a lot of. 

 

Ashildr took herself out of her father’s grip and handed Clara back the Mire kit. “Go, please and live the life you deserve to have”. 

 

Before Clara could speak, Ashildr had already pressed the coordinates and transferred the information back to the Doctor. Clara gave a sad smile as she landed, on Gallifrey. The red sand had crunched under her feet. There were no Time Lords, which was unusual. Why was the Doctor here?

 

She hoped he didn’t get into any trouble, she walked along the lines of the Gallifreyan red sand. One of the Time Ladies had caught up with her, Clara hid her time travel watch in her pocket and said in the most formal way she could. “Hello, how are you?”

 

“You’re Clara Oswald, the Doctor’s time travelling assistant,” the woman curtseyed. “Aren’t you supposed to be dead?”

 

Clara swallowed hard. “Yeah supposedly”. 

 

“Are you here to go back into your timestream?”

 

“No actually, I’m looking for the Doctor. He’s here isn’t he?”

 

“Isn’t that against the rules. If you’re with each other too long the universe will collapse.”

 

“Yeah and nothing has happened yet, isn’t that strange?”

 

The Time Lady scoffed and gave a soft: “Hmmm. Do you have anything on you? Any electronics?”

 

“No” she lied. Keep lying, because that was the only thing keeping her alive. She followed the woman, into the Gallifreyan High Council. Clara followed her plan, she had to find him somewhere, before he did something stupid. 

 

______________

 

The Time Lords didn’t tell either the Doctor or Clara that either of them were in the same place. It seemed for the first time that they were together for the first time exactly where they needed to be. Clara didn’t put the Mire repair kit, that she clung in her small olive skin fingers, it was her final hope. The Time Lords didn’t imprison her, she lied her way through, saying that she just wanted to make sure the Doctor was safe, and then she would die. She didn’t want to die, before she did. She knew she had pushed her limits, discovering the latest adventure, putting danger in her path. Sometimes she took control of the TARDIS, pulled the lever as it spurred into life. 

 

Clara knew the Doctor wasn’t good at communicating words, she knew that she wasn’t good at communicating her feelings, neither of them. She was more sensitive, to these she never said anything, she didn’t want to embarrass him. He lost more than she did , they both had to many ghosts, too many people, too many friends. She liked this new incarnation, and he did too, adjusting to being young again- to being kind and understanding, although some preferences had carried over from the other incarnation. Even though she was glad to have the Doctor back, how many times would they have to adjust to each other? The bow tie floppy haired man she fell in love was gone, when she realized that she had truly loved him, he disappeared and then came this grey haired man- although undeniably very  _ very attractive  _ she pushed him away. She distracted herself, Danny was a good distraction and so was Ashildr. She wouldn’t stop, not for anything, just a few hundred years on the TARDIS forever, traveling with him in the TARDIS as the both of them had wanted. 

 

Remembering the telepathic link that the Doctor had put in her head a while ago, she connected back into it. She heard the wiring piercing ring of the Doctor’s voice. Except it wasn’t a voice, it was all emotions, she felt what he felt. The fearing of losing her, the duty of care, the constant reassurance that she was alright. 

 

____________

 

The Doctor sat up in his bed, in that barn he loved so much when he grew up. He heard Clara’s voice. “Clara?”

 

“Doctor, is that you?” she asked in his head delighted to hear the relief in his voice. 

 

“Yeah, its me. Are you okay? Are you safe?”

 

“I’m fine,” she replied. He could hear her smile. “listen to me, I got the Mire repair kit from Ashildr. We had a few complications. I transferred the technology form the second repair kit to her father, so she didn’t have to be alone. She’s with her father”. 

 

“Oh Clara, my Clara,” he whispered into the link. 

 

“I love you, Doctor. And I’m coming to get you” she said into the link. He heard the stubbornness in her voice. 

 

“I love you, too” he replied with a smile smile. 

 

“Also, I’m on Gallifrey. I’m here and somehow the Time Lords don’t want us to run into each other. Where are you?”

 

“I’m in the barn” he replied. 

 

Where they first had met, her sweet voice telling him it was alright to be afraid. Now it was telling him that she loved him, and that she was coming to get him, she was here on Gallifrey. “Wait for me”. 

 

____________

 

So he had waited, he lost count of how many days, for once he didn’t want to cause trouble. Cause he trusted her, with all his lives. He was afraid that the Time Lords had caught her, that they had forced her to die on Trap Street. 

 

Once she was made immortal they had to figure out a way to get rid of the Chronolock somehow and get rid of Trap Street. He connected back to the telepathic link again, tried to reach her, all there ever was was static. 

 

His hearts fell to his stomach, he opened the door of the barn and looked outside, hundreds of Time Lords were waiting for him. He shut the door, he was going to have to deal with that later. He thought he had friends here on Gallifrey they all had died, too many regenerations to many deaths. 

 

_____________

Clara screamed as she felt the arms of soldiers carry her to Trap Street. She struggled to let go. “I’m sorry Miss Oswald, but you have to die. It is the law of the universe.”

 

“Who said?” she snapped. “You created it didn’t you? The chronolock- you wanted me to die. The universe doesn’t demand my death, you do”. 

 

“We needed the Doctor back on Gallifrey, to unfreeze us,” The General explained. “You were a distraction”. 

 

“I won’t go anywhere” she snapped. 

 

“The Trap Street has become a fix point in time, you need to die”. 

 

Clara turned around, saw the door opening, the crack in time, she stepped forward and turned back. The Time Lords, were impassive, their faces emotionless. Clara have expected the Doctor to walk in and save her. She couldn’t reach him through the link, couldn’t tell him she was being held captive. She breathed in quietly as she stepped forward onto Trap Street. 


	17. Years

 

Clara, saw the white door glistening as she stepped through, the raven halted, the Doctor who had been watching her was frozen. A voice had torn through her, a familiar voice that raged. She couldn’t move a hundred of Time Lords were on her, dragging her. She heard the man she loved, except he wasn’t a man he was an ageless god with a storm in his heart and rage in his eyes. The Doctor.

 

The Doctor punched the Time Lords who held Clara captive, and took her hand forcefully and ran out of the room. Clara took a breather, it was all happening to fast she was just about to die, yet again. She almost believed them, that she was meant to die, that was the closest she ever felt to being vulnerable to be at someone else’s will.

 

The aging was happening again, Clara felt her heart weaken as she sat down near the lift, where she was with the Doctor five hundred years ago. “Clara! Clara, what’s happening?”

 

“I’m aging again,” she explained. She took a bit of her hair, it was turning grey. He knelt down in front of her and took her hands, the regeneration energy pouring through his hands, she stopped him. “maybe it’s better this way.”

 

“Stop talking like that,” he snapped. “you’re going to be fine”.

 

As regeneration poured through her system she breathed in again, she coughed, her chest hurt she took the Doctor’s hand and smiled. “They forced me to die, Doctor”.

 

“I know, they’re going to pay for it, don’t worry.”

 

Her eyes widened in fear. “No don’t, please promise me you won’t!”

 

He cocked an eyebrow at her in confusion. “Clara, they-”

 

“I know what they did!” she replied a little more harshly than she intended to. “That’s not who you are, be the kind, gentle loving daft old man I love, alright?”

“Clara-”

 

“Make a promise to me, if you love me promise me you won’t come back to Gallifrey.”

 

She raised a hand to his cheek, as he took it he pressed a kiss to her knuckles, holding the Mire repair kit in her hand. It was warm from her touch. She stole a kiss from him and raised him off the ground. “Come on, we’re off to see the wizard”.

 

“Well, we’re not going to see a wizard-”

 

Clara rolled her eyes. “And I see what you did there”.

 

“Hmmm.” she laughed.

 

As they both walked to the lift, she held his hand. As long as she was by his side, his rage cooled. Her heart pumping from the exercise, he swore he was too old for this, for running for another breathless adventure. With Clara by his side he always felt as though he was younger.

 

“I love you.” Clara whispered.

 

“Hmm, I love you too.”

 

____________________________

 

“Where is Miss Oswald?” one of the plump Generals asked.

 

“She’s with the Doctor, General.” one of the Time Ladies inerjected.

 

“Yes of course you idiot! But where?”

 

The Time Lady bowed gracefully, and typed in coordinates on their large and very advanced computer. The blue reflection, hid the Time Ladies anticipated face as she looked into the computers.  “Their going to his TARDIS, I’ve located the coordinates, it’s upstairs on the fifth floor.”

 

The General took of his robe, revealing his armor covered in Gallifrey writings and symbols indicating his duties and his station. He opened the large heavy metal door, opening it he saw two figures but alas not the Doctor and Clara.

 

####

 

The Doctor grunted as he pulled open the TARDIS doors, as they were properly inside.. Clara through her arms around the Doctor. He enveloped her next to his heart. Her heart was beating from the exhaustion from the running, she took a strand of her hair and placed it behind her ear. Clara pulled him by the lapels of his grey suit and kissed him. All the weeks and months and waiting for him went into that one kiss. He sighed contently, she was here in his arms.

 

“Are the Time Lords still on our tail?” Clara asked.

 

She looked behind him at the monitor, watching other TARDISES that were chasing them. “Yeah, apparently. I guess I can chase them off. With a little help from you”.

 

She flipped her hair back, and put on a proud smile, her fingers on the ready on the console. The Doctor gave her a sheepish smirk. He sent her the coordinates, she gave him a wide smile and pulled the lever.

 

The coordinates were on a very icky planet, made entirely out of maple syrup. They had gone there for a now what seemed like a date, it was entirely of only ice cream, ice cream and lollipops galore. It was a silly romantic date the Doctor had planned, although she laughed at him for it saying she didn’t actually want to go. He was planning on telling her how he felt but could never muster the courage. This time they agreed on just watching the sunset from the TARDIS doors. Clara didn’t seem to like that she had  to wipe maple syrup of her boots for a couple of hours.

 

“I missed you too much,” Clara said, taking his hand through her own.

 

He pulled her close, his eyes darkened with need and desire. “I missed you too”.

 

“I wanted you for so long, there were days and nights, I longed for you. To hold me close, telling me everything will be alright. I know I told you stay away, but I never wanted to admit I was vulnerable. I needed you.”

 

“Next time will you not be so stubborn and let me help?”

 

“I promise, I’m such a control freak sometimes I just wanted to take of anything. I need to learn to relinquish control-”

 

All of the sudden he was laughing, to hard, he buried his face in his hands to hide his flushed face. Anger rising in her chest, she slapped him on the shoulder. “It’s not funny.”

 

“It’s a little funny,” he said walking back to the console room. “Just hearing you say you’re a control freak-it's amusing.”

 

Clara rolled her eyes. He tilted his head sideways, looking at her with fake puppy dog eyes, he smiled mischievously. “Doctor, now that we’re alone, will you please stop talking and let me show you how much I missed you?”

 

His eyebrows knitted together, something that reminded her of his previous incarnation. His eyes widened and took her hand. “Well, yeah I guess. Do you want to wait for me? I have some things with the Time Lords I need to do.”

 

She gave him a long kiss, a passionate one to remind him of what she wanted to show him later on. The Doctor swallowed hard and straightened the corners of his jacket, the TARDIS groaned, the telepathic link between them told him something in Gallifreyan. Feeling confident the Doctor, went into the corridors of the TARDIS.

 

__________________

They didn’t have any kinks, and Clara was happy for this. What got him going was just her, just her kindness, her gentleness and ease. Alright he was kidding himself, she was not entirely gentle with him in this area, although he never protested, because he knew he was that she wanted control and he gave it to her.

 

The link that was between them, helped in knowing what the other wanted. The Doctor nearly blushed as Clara smirked pulling down his trousers and massaging him underneath. They loved each other properly for the first time, he didn’t know how many years or months she waited for him on Gallifrey. She didn’t know how long he waited for her, if he knew, he didn’t tell her. They still had a lot to figure out, it could wait for now they had each other, and now that’s all that mattered at the moment.

 

Clara woke up, hand in hand with the Doctor. The reassurance that he was there was enough for her. Her Doctor slept, she never imagined him sleeping, and yet here he was, snoring rather loudly. She chuckled as she fell asleep again.

 

The Doctor woke up next, he took the Mire repair kit out of his pocket and reached over to the Clara, he placed the alien contraction on her head and watched as it sank into her forehead. He hoped that it worked and that she would wake up happy and alive.


	18. Trenzalore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clara and the Doctor discuss somethings.

Clara, woke up parched, her throat was itching and scratching, she was thirsty and then felt the pain suddenly go away. She looked for the Doctor but he was gone. Gone on another breathless adventure, probably. She looked for the Mire repair kit hoping that it would be next to her where she and the Doctor slept together last night. It wasn’t. It was gone.

 

She felt the wiring in her head, her heartbeat started coming back again. She almost wanted to yell excitedly, but then the realization dawned upon her. The Doctor had put the Mire repair kit in her mind when she was asleep! Not fair!

 

Getting dressed in her silky pajamas, she made her way towards the console room. She heard wiring again from the TARDIS, groaning, and heard the telepathic link. The Doctor was in his room, it was a mess really he had ten different guitars he didn’t use, pictures of his companions and friends and River. A pang of jealousy shot through Clara. He was writing something in Gallifreyan, he looked as though he was almost daydreaming.

 

He saw her in the corner of his eye jumped out of his seat. “Oh Clara, I didn’t hear you.”

 

“You should’ve!” she snapped.

 

His eyes widened in fear. “Clara, what’s wrong?”

 

“You put the Mire thing in my head!”

 

“Repair kit, Clara.” he pointed out

 

“You should have at least told me you were saving me! And using me and my body and how much I have missed you over the years is the most-you know what? That was cruel that was low even for you-”

 

“Clara- stop. You’re alive, aren’t you? I didn’t use you- if you remember you kind of planned it. I would never do that to you. You’re immortal, you’re alive-”

 

“I’m so sorry, I just feel so emotional and overwhelmed,” she replied, she looked so vulnerable. She rushed to him and buried herself into him. “I’m glad I’m alive, I just didn’t like the way you did it.”

 

“You’re immortal, you’re with me, we’re home in the TARDIS.”

The sudden realization dawned upon her, she was immortal just like she wanted- what she and the Doctor both have wanted. They wouldn’t have to worry about her dying before him.

 

“I love you Clara, I wouldn’t do that to you, I wouldn’t use you.”

 

“I know you wouldn’t,” she replied. “You care about me too much.”

 

“No, I love you too much.” he corrected.

 

“I guess that means we need to talk?” she suggested. She felt him tense up in the hug and then relax under her touch.

 

“Yeah, I suppose you right. You want to get some blankets and hot chocolate?”

 

She released from his grip, the TARDIS, who had been more than happy to encourage the relationship, had already left some mugs outside of the Doctor’s room. Woolen blankets and some chocolate bars. Clara, herself was a paradox, she scattered herself, she was alive and wasn’t at the same time, and the TARDIS hated that. Cocking her eyebrow, Clara carried the tray in the room.

 

Still sitting in his pajamas, Clara joined him. He took one sip of hot chocolate and stuck his tongue out. “It’s too hot!”

 

“Yeah, and the TARDIS doesn’t make the best hot chocolate, does she?”

 

“She’s a time machine, she’s not our mom!” the Doctor laughed.

 

“True,” Clara agreed. “There are things these past few years we haven’t told each other.”

 

“What did they do to you on Gallifrey?”

 

“They asked for information, how long you and I had known we were both on Gallifrey, how you saved me in your timestream. How many times you’ve met me. What you planned to do with me if I died-which really is all self explanatory. They left me some scars, in Gallifreyan writing,” said explained pointing out some circles that were left on her wrists. It looked sore and painful, he reached out ready to heal her but she pulled away. Redness had surrounded, creating an infection. “it’ll heal.”

 

The Mre repair kit, the wiring clicked in her mind, the scars had disappeared leaving no trace that they were ever there. The Doctor had pressed kisses on her wrists, an apology almost. “I never want to see you in pain, it’s too much for me to see you screaming in agony.”

 

“Do you think one of my echoes lived there? On Gallifrey?”

 

“It's a possibility, you could’ve have been my teacher”

 

“You mean you don’t remember?”

 

“It was over two billion years ago Clara, I don’t even remember it.”

 

“Or you don’t want to? Every one of my echoes has died? Maybe it was painful to remember.”

 

“I lost you too many echoes of you, Clara. But you are different. This is you actually, properly real. Alive and breathing, forever.”

 

“Ashildr reminded me of something, when I spent a few days with her. She said you would die long before I did. Does that mean we won’t die together?”

 

“Well,” he chuckled nervously. “men always die before women, don’t they?”

 

“But that’s different, this is you and me. Don’t you know how many regenerations they gave you?”

 

“Probably twelve more, but that’s beside the point. You and I forget to live in the present. Let’s just forget the past and the future and be grateful for what we have. Right now. My past self didn’t know that, but I know that now.”

 

“You’re one to talk. What changed you?”

 

“Who do you think? You!”

 

This earned him a quick kiss. “I knew I fell in love with you when you regenerated into that Scottish owl. You changed too quickly before I could tell you, I knew I liked you I just didn’t know I was falling.”

 

“I didn’t know either, when we were on Trenzalore. On that truth field, you admitted you liked me.”

 

Clara felt the heat rise to her cheeks. “Are Time Lords immune to truth fields?”

 

“We’re immune to emotions expressed on truth fields. I was protecting myself. I would have told you, from one breathless adventure to the next there wasn’t enough time.”

 

“There was plenty of wiggle room. It was more than just liking you, it was falling for someone else when you changed. Can you show me what happened on Gallifrey?”

 

The Doctor put down his hot chocolate and rubbed his hands together, regeneration energy pouring through. “Do you trust me, Clara?”

 

“What are you doing?”

 

“I’m going to show you what happened on Gallifrey.”

 

“I trust you.”

 

A twirl of brights clouds and bright stars clouded her vision, it settled, she was back on Trenzalore. Everything felt real from the snow, to the bitter ice that threatened frostbite. She felt the Doctor coming up behind her, bringing her under his grey suit keeping her warm. She clung to his coat, as they walked on the fields of Trenzalore once more.


	19. Trenzalore Part 2

 

The danger of reliving the pain of the past couple of thousands of years would create a paradox, so the Doctor showed Clara basically in a stream of conscious what he went through. Leaving her the first time, he saw a glimpse of her coming back home, the Christmas turkey in her hand standing outside of the TARDIS as it went back to Trenzalore.

 

“We don’t have to watch this part,” the Doctor said as he had pulled Clara away from the memory.

 

“No, I want to watch,” Clara said, taking the Doctor’s hand through her own firmly.

 

“Of course, boss.” he teased.

 

The image of colors, rainbows and many others beyond what the human eye could see Clara could see now. She was in his mind, she could see everything. The image transformed to the bow tie Doctor, he moved into his office and looked around, he sat in his rocking chair. “I still didn’t tell her.” he said quietly to himself. Not far away was the telepathic circuit to the TARDIS still in tact with his own mind.

 

“ _Why not?”_

 

“I was afraid it would make it to real.”

 

“I say that every regeneration,” Clara’s Doctor said behind her. “And then I realized falling in love with you, was just way beyond my control.”

 

“What did you do, all those years?” she asked, walking with him as they had reached the next memory.

 

“Trying to forget how much I ached for you, how I needed you. I wrote you letters, and poems, I drew you, I think. I don’t remember much of them. Trenzalore burned out a long time ago. They probably burned.”

 

“I can’t believe you did all that,” Clara said. “You never mentioned it, every time I came back. You did that to yourself twice in the Confessional Dial, and on Trenzalore.”

 

“It’s over, Clara. It was a long time ago, I don’t plan on torturing myself soon,” The Doctor promised as he watched tears from Clara’s eyes began to burn again. He cupped her face and kissed her slowly to savor her. “I promise. Do you want to go back home?”

 

“Is this TARDIS really my home?” she asked.

 

The comforting smile from his lips faded. Wasn’t the TARDIS already her home? “If you want it to be.”

 

“A very bold offer,” she teased.

 

“I wasn’t kidding,” he said coldly.

 

“Are you serious?”

 

The Doctor looked up in the dream, the clouds of colors of rainbows and clocks, Gallifreyan symbols carved in the sky. The thunder grumbled angrily, threatening to ending the telepathic connection between them. Before he could reply, the dream ended as Clara was in the Doctor’s room once more.

 

“What happened after that?” Clara asked, forgetting that the Doctor had nearly proposed to her.

 

“Well I died, you were there!” he replied sheepishly remembering the bulge in his pocket that was threatening his comfort on the bed.

 

“I know that, but I mean I never got to ready any of your letters. You just saved that town over and over again. And you never allowed me to be there with you, I would have stayed and taken care of you until death do us part.”

 

“You were still human and I would have buried you. I wouldn’t have let you die on Trenzalore, I would have brought you back home.”

 

“You are my home. The TARDIS is my home, I wouldn’t have chosen anywhere else.”

 

His heart skipped a beat. He didn’t remember being this happy. Not ever. He wanted to grab her, take her by her soft hair and press kisses in her neck. Feeling the desire crawling up in her mind, she gave a small smile and rested in his lap. “I choose you.”

 

“Can I just-?”

 

“Go for it,” she said, giving him permission by kissing him slowly. He blinked, the bulge inside his pants growing with arousal as he lied her down next to him. Placing kisses in her neck, earns moans and caresses as he undid her silk pajamas. There were too many buttons. Too much fabric.

 

“What else happened on Trenzalore?” she asked between gasp. She saw him look up, he looked a little disappointment that whatever they were in the middle of would be discontinued.

 

“I saved town one after another, I sent you away because I knew you would convince me to go, save another world, another dimension. I didn’t have you so I became distant.”

 

“And rude,” Clara added.

 

“Yeah that too,” he agreed with a half smile.

 

“You also became old,” Clara laughed reaching for the Doctor’s sweater. He pulled it off for her. He gave her a sharp look.

 

“And so damn _hot._ ”

 

Half in and out of his sweater he looked up and cocked an eyebrow. “I was old and leathery.”

 

“Those silver curls,” she said with a daydream like smile. “a girl could dream.”

 

“Stop teasing me, and let me me kiss you, please.”


	20. Soulmates

The Doctor looked up as Clara squirmed underneath him, struggling to take off clothes. Obliging her, he took off his shirt, one fabric less from being completely unencumbered by clothes. Lowering himself on top of her, his tip teasing her entrance, he heard her moan. “Go for it, please. I can’t stand it anymore I want you.”

 

Smirking, she took off her clothes in one movement, he was always startled by her naked form, although he had seen it in many nights, she was still gorgeous. One hand, pulled her close, lowering himself as she gasped. One foot anchored his hip into her, guiding him with he needs and wants. 

 

He took one of her nipples in his mouth and sucked them gently, letting Clara guide him as she arched up against him. She needed him, he felt her damp and moist and nearly ready. He dipped in her entrance farther, pressing kisses in her neck. “Doctor, I need-I want-it’s okay-”

 

“It’s okay, I got you.” he whispered bringing her up in one soft movement around his hips. She thrusted against him, and then put his arms down as she took control. 

 

He tangled his fingers in her hair as she reached down and grabbed his shaft. “Clara, you feel amazing-I can’t.”

 

He was on the urge of crying, he never had this connection with anyone before, with Rose maybe once and with River but this was different she was his soulmate. She shut him up with a kiss and rested on top of him again. The connection between them almost made him regenerate, yellow energy poured through him. “Please I’m so close.” He arched his hips up to meet her, hiding his regeneration energy behind her back, guiding her as she came close to climax. Orgasm pouring through her she collapsed on top of him. 

 

“You’re my soulmate.” the Doctor whispered finally. “And I can’t imagine a life without you in it.”

 

She kissed him on the cheek as his hand traced circles on her back. “Clara, I need to tell you something.”

 

She scrambled to get out his grip. “I have to get something. I have to get more condoms, I’m not in my my cycle, but it's better to be safe.”

 

She took his sweater and put it over, let her long out of place hair dangle. He saw her sleeping put her head on his abdomen. “What did you need to tell me?”

 

“Well, Time Lords have this kind of intuition of who their soulmates are. Well I think-”

 

She shot right up. “That we’re-?”

 

“Yeah, is that okay? You don’t have to be obligated to me.”

 

“It’s fine. It actually makes a lot of sense.”

 

He sat up with her, and took her hand. “It does?”

 

She traced Gallifreyan circles on his palm. “If you think about it, my echoes, the universe trying to bring us together. It does make sense.”

 

His eyes grew dark, as he pulled her closer and kissed her firmly. “I love you.”

 

This earned him a long kiss. “You’re really good at saying that.”

 

His eyes grew darker as he pinned her down and slid her tongue in her mouth, she moaned against him. “You’re ready for a second round already?”

 

“I’m always going to want you.” he replied. 

 

Grabbing for his sweater, Clara pulled him toward her. 

 

__________

 

The Doctor thought about what he said about being soulmates, he watched as Clara slept. He couldn’t help the big smile that came up on his face. He was in a relationship with Clara, well as close as it can be. She told him once that she considered him, besides Danny one she could have married him. He had the ring somewhere safe, hopefully the TARDIS has hidden it where Clara could have find it. He wanted to ask her, someday. He didn’t want to have a formal wedding, just a telepathic ceremony, no family. Just the two of them. Life adventuring in the TARDIS forever. 

 


	21. Trap Street

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enough of smut time to get back to business :D Though you saw the last Ashildr? The Doctor still has to fix the paradox he created on Trap Street. Why does Ashildr feel like she recognized the Doctor's face?

In Trap Street timing was stilling moving, people were still dying and Ashildr that was still on Earth was there. The same heartless immortal. She tapped her black nails on her throne, above her was a paradox, the Doctor had created a paradox for the woman he loved. Clara was dying in a loop, but the raven wouldn’t take her soul. It happened over and over again as time moved beside her, everyone had gotten about their own business. 

 

Ashildr was the only one who had witnessed the event therefore it was her curse to see the Doctor watched the woman he loved die. The TARDIS wheezed and announced its arrival, Ashildr, collecting another soul had brought her raven back to its cage. 

 

The Doctor looked around, and stepped on the ground. Ashildr immediately recognized him. He looked younger, he had a grey suit with black hair and a little grey at the temples. Ashildr had recognized the face somewhere else before, but couldn’t quite put her finger on it. 

 

“Ashildr,” the Doctor greeted coldly. 

 

“Doctor, and without Clara, the love of his life?”

 

“Now is not the time to tease. Clara is safe, she’s fine. I came back to fix the paradox. I just need your help with the TARDIS.”

 

“Very well,” she agreed. “but I’m not doing it for you, I’m doing it for Trap Street. To keep them safe.”

 

He nodded, he knew that if he had closed the paradox Trap Street may not possibly exist anymore. Ashildr might not even remember meeting him or Clara, or the fact that he gave her a life with her dad. Closing to the door to the TARDIS, Ashildr made her way to the controls. 

 

“If we close the paradox, does that mean Trap Street won’t exist? That I won’t exist?”

 

“We will have to tread carefully,” the Doctor replied fidgeting with the controls. 

 

“I hope so I don’t want to forget my childhood, I still have some memories.”

 

“I will make sure that you won’t,” the Doctor replied sweetly. 

 

“Why did you chose that face?” Ashildr asked curiously. 

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“I mean it’s younger than your previous regeneration, the Scottish guy. It’s kind of handsome, did you chose it for Clara? You remind me of a face, I swear I’ve seen it before.”

 

He picked it up from somewhere, he was always carrying faces. He chose them for specific reasons, the last one he chose to keep Clara at a distance, this one he chose but she accepted him, there was no reason to chose another grey face. He chose to show his real age, not anymore because Clara would love him either way. Clara said she had liked this face, although he wasn’t so sure about the grey hair growing on his sideburns. 

 

He busied himself in doing the coordinates, looking at the mathematics in Gallifreyan. He took his sonic screwdriver, as the rifts had healed the time in Trap Street. Clara disappeared from the streets, the raven had disappeared into smoke. “How much do you remember?” 

 

Ashildr looked up at him. “Everything. I think. Everything is there. All I have to do is go back outside, yeah?”

 

“Trap Street is gone, Ashildr. There was too much damage in the timestreams and the paradoxes. You’re home is gone.”

 

Ashildr opened the TARDIS doors, to the empty alley, the raven was gone and so was the chronolock. It was just Earth right now. “It’s gone, everything I worked so hard to keep is gone.”

 

“You’ll build another home,” the Doctor told her sadly leaning one hand over the TARDIS doors. 

 

“Again, and again.”

 

Ashildr walked out the TARDIS, but not without giving the Doctor a sharp look. The Doctor closed the doors with the snap of his fingers. He walked back to Clara’s room- well technically their room. Putting the ring back into the pocket, he knocked on the door, she was taking a nap but it was too much exciting news to wait until she woke up. 

 

“Clara, are you awake?”

 

“I was,” she spat. 

 

“Check your neck, the chronolock should be gone, for good.”

 

She sat up in her sweatshirt and checked the back of her neck the ink was gone. The engraving that she felt, for five hundred years calling her name was gone. The tiredness had seemed to vanish from her eyes, she yelped a scream of happiness and wrapped her legs around him. He held her in place as she smothered him in kisses. 

 

“I love you so much.”

 

She gave him a kisses on his hairline, and rested down on the ground. “I love you, too.”

 

“Is it really over?”

 

“Yeah, I suppose it is”.

 

“Do you want to celebrate?” she asked with a flirtatious smile. 

 

He gave her a sheepish blushing smile. “Now?”

 

She closed her arms tighter around him. “Yeah, is that okay?”

 

“Just give me a minute,” he told her and snapped his fingers. The TARDIS had taken flight, hopefully they had shaken off the Time Lords. Right now they could just appreciate each other. 

 

_________________

 

The Time Lords tried to open the street they had created, the Trap Street, the deal they had made with the immortal. They had no intention of interfering with the Doctor and his assistant-for now. They were now trapped in the corner of the universe without any assistance of reaching to their allies. They had the supporting group of each other. They were now soldiers, just blood thirsty soldiers who had done everything in their power to break the Doctor and his assistant apart. The Doctor had broke the code of making a human immortal. 

 

Their planet, where the five moons of Gallifrey had settled on the Mountains of Solstice. The sky was a blood maroon red, the Doctor had stood their with rage in his hearts waiting for Clara to fall asleep. The Time Lords were after him. His own family. His own people. 

 

_________

 

The Doctor had a large case of insomnia, it had carried over from the bow tie regeneration, he was hyper. Clara was right he had some form of  Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder, he couldn’t sleep at night thinking about the universe, and that one planet might have been needing his help. 

 

He put the TARDIS on silent mode, and put on a small classic blazer and plaid pants, very previous regeneration. Asd he pressed the coordinates to Gallifrey, he opened the TARDIS doors again. 

 

He couldn’t kill them, he had already promised Clara he wouldn’t kill them. Or he would have to put them in another dimension, create another one. Or at least he didn’t remember how to create one. He didn’t pay attention much in class, Clara was definitely right. There was a library in one of the schools, it wasn’t far away from where the TARDIS was. It was a short walk, when he walked the fields of Gallifrey, he heard Clara call his name. “Clara, I told you to stay in the TARDIS.”

 

“Don’t tell me what to do, when you’re in the relationship with me you’ll have to learn that I can take care of myself and I’m going to go with you everywhere.” She gave him a gentle slap on the shoulder. 

 

“I-I’m- I mean-oh Clara.” He took her by the arm and pulled her close, he gave her one long passionate kiss until she was breathless. 

 

“Wow,” she breathed. “And tongue. I did not expect tongue from you.”

 

He gave her a shrug. “I’ll have to show you something later,” she replied with a flirtatious smile. 

 

The Doctor giggled all of the sudden, then feeling childish stuck his tongue out to no one is particular and walked with Clara to the library. 


	22. Promises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor discovers that Clara has a sonic screwdriver that can do wood.

 

The library was unlike what Clara had expected, she expected it to be so alien like, Gallifreyan writing, filled with ancient books about Gallifrey history. It just disappointed her, it was just a normal library. She gripped the Doctor’s hand as he looked for books. They had technically broken an entry, the Doctor had disabled the alarm system and had taken Clara’s hand forcefully dragging her into their next adventure.

 

Clara had expected ghosts from the past, the library was just said not just to hold books, but memories and fears. For the first time Clara, did not feel brave. She almost did not chase the Doctor as he had landed the TARDIS, the Time Lords had tortured her for two years, had literally forced her to die she was petrified. “Clara, are you okay?”

 

Clara’s hand only got tighter, her nails digging into his skin. “No, they tortured me here, Doctor. Just promise me we’ll get out soon.”

 

“I promise,” he told her.

 

“I can hear him Doctor, Danny screaming. When he and the Cyberman exploded. I can hear his heart breaking when I-I had switched off his emotions.”

 

“Its memories leaking, this place brings out the worst memories for people. A lot of people I lost are coming back to me, we have to get out of here before we get lost in our own minds.”

 

Clara kept an eye out in the hallway as the Doctor had picked up books. The memory of losing the Doctor the first time, who died to late before she could have told him that she had loved him. Her Doctor, had walked passed her with one Clara walking arm in arm. “Do you remember being here in the past?” Clara asked the Doctor.

 

“Quite possibly, although I don’t remember it.”

 

“I think I remember being here,” Clara said raising her eyebrows.

 

“We probably just forget,” the Doctor said.

 

“How can we forget coming to Gallifrey?”

 

“Probably just timelines out of sink, I probably just used a memory wipe on us,” the Doctor replied with his nose buried in the books.

 

“Are you ready?” Clara asked.

 

“Almost,” the Doctor replied with a forced smile, there was something he wasn’t telling her.

 

He grabbed her hand, and headed straight for the end of the hallway, it seemed endless to Clara. The Mire repair kit wiring in her head, repairing her keeping her heartbeat in check, as she held on to Doctor’s hand for dear life. The Time Lords has walked in, Clara immediately turned around her back up against the Doctor’s. They aimed their sonic screwdrivers at the Time Lords. The Doctor heard an old voice in his head, the one he had tried to forget. “Why are you pointing your sonic screwdrivers like that? They’re scientific instruments not water pistols.”

 

Clara forgot what she told him, five hundred years had passed since she told him he was a soldier so brave, he didn’t need a gun. Her sonic screwdriver had felt heavy in her hand like a gun. The anger the Doctor had felt always, she felt it too. Before she could react, one of the Time Lords had slapped her flying her across the room with his sonic screwdriver. She felt the Doctor’s hand on her shoulder, they reached for the end. She turned a setting on the sonic screwdriver, a setting for a wood.

 

“It does wood?!” she heard the Doctor yelling through the chaos.

 

“Yes, my TARDIS actually is advanced in sonic technology.” she replied with a playful smile, mirth dancing in her eyes.

 

The Doctor scoffed as he and Clara had ran outside of the corridor, they had slammed the door shut behind them, they put a broom so the Time Lords wouldn’t escape the room.

 

“Are you okay?”

“I think I twisted my ankle.” Clara complained. Then she felt it against the wiring passing through her brain, she tested her ankle , it was healed.

 

“It’s healed,” the Doctor noticed with a smile. “beautiful, wonderful, impossible Clara.”

 

“It’s practically my middle name.” she joked back. Then she felt a pang in her leg, she was blasted with a sonic gun. She was laughing through the pain now. “The Mire repair kit, it’s not kicking in, it’s not working.”

 

“Maybe I could heal it,” the Doctor said, kneeling down in front of her while the Time Lords kept banging at the door.

 

“It looks like you’re proposing to me.” she killed as the Doctor’s regeneration energy kicked in. She could tell he felt weaker, more relaxed, sweats had starting coming down his temples. He gave a weak laugh.

 

“When this is all over, I promise.” he replied helping her up to her feet.

 

“Are you serious?” she asked, seriousness was drawn on her face.

 

“Of course I am.” he replied.

 

Her sweet wonderful Doctor who was always silly had put on a face for people to accept him, was actually serious for once. For once it was just him and her. She forgot about the Time Lords, and the fact that she was hurting and that the Mire repair kit was giving her trouble. It was just nothingness, just her and the Doctor falling in what seemed to be an endless black hole of just them. They were lost in each other, and hungry, forgetting everything. The Doctor supposed that’s what it’s like with your soulmate, you just forget everything else.

 

The TARDIS has materialized around them, bringing them into safety. The battle of the TARDISES had begun, the Doctor and Clara pulled them away from each other. They had put themselves to the task of putting their sonic screwdrivers into the TARDIS. Rassilon has appeared on the screen. “Doctor, you have gone far enough.”

 

“Have I?” the Doctor asked, teasing.

“Yes, she can’t live on. You should have saved us, you and all Thirteen Doctors, and you put us in a small corner of the universe.”

 

“I froze you, I had saved us all.”

 

“You gave Clara hope, you broke the oldest law.”

 

With a nod from Clara, the Doctor looked back at the TARDIS monitor. “You know what, I couldn't care less.”


	23. Reaper

Piloting the TARDIS, Clara looked at amazement as the TARDIS wheezed and came into life under her fingertips. She was in the Doctor’s arms, one arm tightening around her as she piloted the TARDIS. “What did Rassilon mean, when you broke the oldest rule?”

 

The Doctor pulled from her embrace, and coughed awkward sitting in the pilot chair. “There was a rule when Gallifrey was born, that no Time Lord or Gallifreyan will ever try to make another non-Time Lord immortal.”

 

“But you made me immortal?” she asked. He took both of her hands in his own. He was cold to the touch, and scared, his pulse raced. 

 

“Because I was scared to lose you. You mean too much to me, and if I lose you I wouldn’t be able to breathe. I broke time and space for you.”

 

She rested her hands on his chest, gripping tight on the lapels of his grey suit. “Promise me, after this no more punching walls, no more time and space, no more of that, please.”

 

He pulled her close and gave her one long kiss. “Love is a promise after all.”

 

__________________

 

So the Doctor had kept his promise, his duty of care which he had taken very seriously put Clara overboard sometimes. Although being the control freak that she is, she let him take care of her inside bedroom activities and other breathless adventures. The oldest law that the Doctor had broke, to make a human immortal sent Time Lords and Reapers after them. 

 

Some Reapers were in disguise, some dressed like humans other likes dogs. One of them had gotten passed the Doctor. Her disguise was Clara. The reaper knew if she disguised himself as Clara, the Doctor would listen to her. She sat in one of the pilot seats, with her legs crossed. “We need to talk, Doctor. Some of the Reapers had leaked through the rift you created when you saved Clara, I was wondering if you knew.”

“Of course I know.” the Doctor lied. 

 

The Reaper’s olive tan skin, so similar to Clara’s but not quite as come to him in a second, like smoke. “Doctor, do you know why you trust this face?”

The Doctor didn’t reply. 

 

“You do everything for her, she’s an echo Doctor, you created an echo of someone that died for more than the life of the universe.”

 

“She’s not just an echo, she’s Clara. My Clara.”

 

The Reaper raised an eyebrow. “Why do you always saw that? ‘Clara, my Clara’.”

 

“Why are you mocking me?”

 

“I’m not mocking you, I’m making a point.” the Reaper argued. “The one Time Lord who said that she was just a friend, call Clara ‘my Clara’. Isn’t that strange? Now here you are, with that ring in your pocket. You brought an echo back from the dead. I’ll reap her Doctor, I’ll take her from you.”

 

“Don’t you dare!”

 

Before the Doctor could reply, the Reaper had disappeared like smoke, and into Clara’s room. 

 

_________

 

Clara felt weightless as the Reaper carried her through the ceiling of the TARDIS. Her voice was taken from her, she couldn’t speak or think, all she knew how good it felt to be carried by her own self. The image had faded away to something that could only be described as a Dementor from the Harry Potter books. The hands that were once safe and warm, were skeleton like. 

 

The Reaper once again took the form of someone she once loved, the first Doctor she ran away with. The Reaper sat her down on a random planet. “Rest while you can.”

“How are you going to kill me? I can’t be killed the Mire repair kit will fix my death.”

 

“I’m a reaper,” the Reaper replied. “I have a few tricks up my sleeve.”

 

The repair kit fixed Clara’s breathing level, in all her five hundred years of travelling she had never felt so foreign on a planet. Clara breathed in quietly. “I’ve read about your kind before, I know how you kill.”

 

“You’re a echo Clara, and I’m going to make sure you stay that way.”   
  



	24. Miranda

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's see what the Reaper and Clara are up too.

 

Clara took a breather, the Reaper, who had cleverly had disguised itself as ghosts from Clara’s past brought her from planet to planet. Right now Clara had wished for her TARDIS, all the travelling had made it difficult to breathe. The wiring in her mind had given her a mind blasting headache, the repair kit, repairing every bit of what was wrong with her. For once she just needed a break from just being alive. The Reaper, who had promised her a small and painful death, was tempting, then she remembered, a life with the Doctor. That they had promised each other to take a care of each other. 

 

The Reaper had taken her back to earth, home which she hadn’t had the pleasure of walking on its grounds in five hundred years. As the Reaper and her landed, the creature she arrived with disguised itself as another face. “Why are we here?”

 

“You’re going to help me collect souls,” the Reaper explained as she opened the door to one of the hospitals, they were in America, Clara knew they were in Nevada. “come this way.”

 

In big bold red letters, was the name of the hospital.  Boulder City Hospital. Clara followed the Reaper, when curiosity hit her. “Do you have a name?”

 

The Reaper, who had now taken the face of Danny raised an eyebrow of her. “What?”

 

“No soul has ever asked me that before.”

 

“I’m not dead yet.” Clara snapped. 

 

“It’s Miranda.”

 

“What?”

 

“My name is Miranda.”

 

“Oh, okay then.” Miranda had made a turn into one of the rooms. She took one of the clipboards and looked through the information. 

 

“Died of a heart attack, poor old day,” Miranda said looking at the lady’s leathery old skin. Clara stood next to Miranda, as she stood over the woman’s body. 

 

“There are no such thing as souls is there?”

 

“It’s more like a conscious apparition,” Miranda explained. “The very last of mind clinging to earth.”

 

“That’s so sad.”

 

Miranda put her hand on the woman’s body, white little dots had floated out of her, into Miranda’s hand. The reaper breathed in quietly. “She died in her sleep,” Miranda explained. “I can do that for you, you know.”

 

“I don’t want to die.” Clara told her firmly. “You can’t force someone to do something they don’t want to do.”

 

“We have more people to reap.” Miranda replied and lead Clara out of the room. 


	25. Clara

The Doctor looked at the monitor and rested his head on the console room. He lost Clara yet again, he should have known that the Reaper would have taken Clara. The Reapers had no planet and were way beyond what he had seen over the past billion years, they were spiritual and universal. That was the tricky part of looking for Clara and the Reaper, there were no coordinates and no way to look for her. 

 

Clara was smart, sometimes even smarter than him. He hoped at least that she would come back to him. So he had stayed still, going from planet to planet and waited until Clara came back to him. 

 

Clara had lost count of how many people had helped reaped with Miranda, she had entered a whole new world of excitement and adventures. Not being able to breathe, had haunted her for five hundred years, being able to breathe, travelling the stars going from planet to planet. No years had passed, time didn’t exist in the universe, she had no idea how many years it was for the Doctor. To resume her life with him, a life with the Doctor. She had always wondered what the box he was always looking at was. She couldn’t imagine the Doctor proposing to her, a normal life with a Doctor. If he could change for her, that would be more amazing. 

 

As she and Miranda had continued to reap, she wondered how the Doctor was doing. It wasn’t until Clara saw the coordinates of on her watch that the Doctor gave her that she knew where they were headed. Home, close to the Doctor. 

 

If there was a death there, didn’t mean it was the Doctor? As they had landed Clara had ran farther ahead of the reaper to the Doctor. Clara opened the door as Miranda had disappeared. 

 

“Miranda?”

 

“Clara?” came from the echoes of the TARDIS. 

 

“Doctor? Are you hurt?”

 

“No, I was looking for you. I waited for you to come back.”

“Well I’m here now.”

 

He smiled so hard, he thought his face would crack. He pulled her into a bone crushing hug. She lifted his chin and kissed him softly. “I need you, always.”

 

“Does it ever stop, wanting you?”

 

“Only if you want it to be.” she replied with her usual smirk. 

 

_________

 

With Clara’s bed soaked from her recent activity with the Doctor. He wasn’t sleeping, he was playing his guitar sitting in the bed with his striped pajamas. Clara was resting her head on his knee. “So are you going to tell me why you have a small black box your pocket?”

 

“I-um-well I mean-”

 

“Go on, tell me.”

 

She sat up and straightened he messed up blue t-shirt. “Will you tell me please?”

 

“Do you know what I’m asking?”

 

“Of course I know. Go on do it.”

 

The Doctor smirked, and rummaged through his pocket and pulled out the ring. “I can’t give you a life you want, with a husband and kids, and a house with a job. All I want is you and me, travelling you with in the TARDIS. Maybe we can have little Hybrid children. I don’t know if that’s what you want, but I love you since the moment I meant you. Clara, will you please stay with me?”.

Clara gave out a happy squeal and buried her face into the Doctor’s neck. “Of course I’ll stay with you.”


	26. New World

The Doctor took Clara back to Earth, for a date, well at least it did feel like a date. With Clara paying for everything and him following her with, her ring nudging on her finger it felt more like a outing. The TARDIS was parked, well near an English police phone box, it was the only thing that the TARDIS could blend in with. 

 

Thousands of years into the future, they had landed the coordinates, Clara didn’t want to be reminded of the life she had left behind. Her father was gone and so was all the students she taught at Coal Hill. The trip back to Earth was her last. Her old apartment was still there, as the Doctor notices Clara was a little sentimental, he created a timelock in the apartment, to Clara’s old time so it would seem as though she was back in her own time. 

 

She ordered Chinese food for the both of them, when they both had sat down eventually, Clara had asked. 

 

“Have you ever been a woman before?”

 

The Doctor choked on one bit of dumpling. “I think I have been, I can’t remember it was such a long time ago.”

 

“Of course you remember.”

 

“Next regeneration I might be. Would you mind?”

 

Clara’s cheeks turned pink. “Absolutely not.”

 

She laughed a little when the Doctor grabbed her by the arms and pinned her down on the couch. She giggled, squirming, playing underneath him, as he planted little kisses on her cheek and neck. “You wouldn’t mind that wouldn’t you?” He nibbled the sensitive part behind her ear that he knew she would laugh endlessly. She grabbed a bit of her hair to pull him closer, smoothing out his wavy hair, the food was soon forgotten. 

 

_________

 

“I wish my father could have met this version of you, or at least find out the truth of why I was running around all the time,” Clara was saying as she put on her tank top over her head. 

 

“Look only to the past only as it gives you pleasure.” the Doctor quoted. 

 

“Did you just quote Jane Austen?” Clara asked, almost impressed. 

 

“Yes, I did.”

 

Clara took his hands in her own. “You’re my family.”

 

The Doctor turned pink, straightening his jacket, he grew almost two inches in the process. Clara kissed him on the cheek. “You know I swing both ways, right?”

 

Clara was always blunt, she had always said things that made the Doctor blush, her being so open and accepting with him. Now she was wearing a ring on her finger, his ring sort of like a promise to stay with him as she long as she can. She could hardly imagine little Hybrids running around the TARDIS any time soon. Being in bed with the Doctor wasn’t exactly as she had imagined in the past when she was daydreaming about him, it was sweet and sometimes uncoordinated and hungry and sometimes sweet. 

 

Moving into the TARDIS was easier than expected, all of Clara’s close had mostly already been there. Her sonic screwdriver was next to his on the console unit when the TARDIS had calculate their weight and heighter finally allowing them in. 

 

For the one time machine that had been keeping them apart, the TARDIS materialized, and actually had no work needed to be done to keep them apart any longer. Even though she felt like scolding at the Doctor for prying Clara from what she wanted she had never had seen him this happy. 

 

Holding his sonic screwdriver, the Doctor and Clara had went back into her old room. “We still have some time, right?”

 

Clara had rubbed the grey fabric on his coat, all the Doctor wanted to do was keep looking at Clara’s hand that was reaching down to his trousers. 

The Doctor had picked up Clara by the waist and pinned her down to the bed. 

 

“I love you.” was all he said before kissing her lips. 


	27. Equality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update I was at vacation

Clara woke up feeling the Doctor pressed up against her, last night she had learned about Gallifreyan weddings. Forming a telepathic link between them would be difficult since Clara was not alien, although she had a little alien inside her the link would be risky. 

 

With his bulge pressed up against her legs, she forced herself to get up, exhausted from the past few days. She swore she lost some weight from their little mock honeymoon she read somewhere in the TARDIS that another Time Lord can perform the ceremony. 

 

Going back to Gallifrey was not what the Doctor wanted, and Clara knew that. Being immortal gave her greater understanding of emotions, which was something Clara was not very good at expressing. Neither was the Doctor. They would have saved so much time if they were both expressive in their emotions. 

 

The Doctor had explained to Clara that Time Lords were raised on complicated math equations, from learning physics and time travel Clara had learned that Time Lords had invented the maths. They didn’t have time to learn emotions and how to act on them. After a long winded conversation about how Clara opened his heart, they had decided to do the ceremony themselves. 

 

“Doctor, I have to admit I’m a little scared.”

 

“It’s alright,” the Doctor replied nonchalantly. “you’ll be fine. Unfortunately humans do not have as long as an attention span as Time Lords do, well since you have a little alien inside you, hopefully your mind will handle it.”

 

“So no pressure?” she asked sarcastically. 

 

“None whatsoever. ” he said, biting back his laughter. 

 

As they joined hands, Clara felt the swirl of darkness and stars all that she had seen in her five hundred years of being immortal all at once. The emotions swirling of being overwhelmed by love and devotion. She was in his mind, and it all darkness, and without it she would have been able to see the stars inside his mind. She saw a mixture of Gallifreyan symbols that she had recognized from his doodles. In the centre of his mind the very image of her was there. 

 

She looked for the Doctor, there he was , walking towards her with his usual calm smile hiding his pain, but it wasn’t fake, it was real. It wasn’t a marriage, it was just a promise to be together. But love was a promise, wasn’t it? At least that was what the Doctor kept promising her, to love her and hold her as much as he could. 

 

They both sat down, holding each other hands as Clara felt the connection between them connect and grow even deeper. She felt the warm darkness take her and the warm hands wrap around her. 

 

It wasn’t exactly the ceremony Clara had hoped for, but it was a wonderful feeling, the overwhelming feeling of being cherished and devoted. 


	28. Statues

Clara didn’t expect to be carried bridal style where the Doctor and her had returned to the TARDIS. He pressed her close, with one arm tightened around her waist, Clara giggled as her long hair came to her face. She couldn’t hide her smile, they made it back alive. They were so many times when Clara thought this was the end for them, this was the final page and it wasn’t they had a new life together. 

 

As he put her down, she saw the storm in his eyes, his eyes were clouded with desire, love and passion but not overcome by it. “So are you all ready for our honeymoon?” Clara asked as she hit the coordinates. “I was thinking Paris? Or is that too cheesy?”

 

The Doctor, from the other side of the TARDIS had punched in new numbers. “I need to do something first.”

 

Clara guessed this was how it was always going to be, the universe before her. She followed him, they were in Victorian England again. “We’re in Victorian England again? I’m not wearing a corset again.”

 

“Well that would be disappointing. I honestly like seeing you in a corset, it is a rarity.”

Clara felt her cheeks burn as she took his hand. “Where are we going?”

 

“If I did my math correctly we were supposed to land where Jenny was about to be killed by the Weeping Angels.”

 

“Why would you do that? I thought that there was a ripple in time, a paradox.”

 

“Yeah, well you were a paradox once.”

 

Clara almost dare to laugh as she went with him. 

 

____________

 

Vastra and Jenny were running from the Weeping Angels, Jenny used every weapon she had to blast them, but the stone was no use. As Jenny had back down with Vastra behind a building she felt a hand grab her own. “Doctor?”

 

He gave a mischievous almost egotistical smile as he held Clara in his other hand. Jenny and Vastra exchanged looks at the foursome had moved to an underground haven. 

 

Vastra couldn’t hold it in any longer. “What- but what- how?” She then pointing to the fact that the Doctor and Clara were holding hands. “And this! Explanation now. Please.”

 

Clara stepped forward, rubbing the Doctor’s arm. “We got married. Well not technically its a promise that we could be together for the rest of our immortal lives.”

 

“And we weren’t invited?” Jenny almost screamed. 

 

“It was a telepathic ceremony.” the Doctor explained. 

 

“Still! We were rooting for your guys to end up together!” Vastra practically yelled. 

 

__________

 

Clara started bursting out laughing. The Doctor took hold of her hand as Clara took Vastra and Jenny’s. The Doctor had waited until Clara used to portal combination of her sonic screwdriver. They were transported back home, to the apartment that they had all learned to love. 

 

Clara remembered when she had came here nearly five hundred years  ago to help the Doctor ease into his regeneration. The room he had stayed in as Clara held his hands through the night. She never dared to think that she would like that Scottish rebel Time Lord regeneration, but she had fallen hard and here she was back where the Doctor was. 

 

As Vastra had poured tea, Clara nearly took in down in one gulp. Clara remembered that this Vastra didn’t yell at the Doctor, she didn’t yell at him for letting Jenny. She knew the Doctor made sure he wouldn’t make the same mistake, whatever he could to protect Jenny from being killed. 

 

“I would still like to know why you two have finally come to your senses and decided to be together,” Vastra said, sipping her tea. 

 

“It took a while,” Clara began to explain. “He wouldn’t believe him when I told him I loved him, then he did believe me, finally.”

 

“Clara, that’s not the issue now. We could all gush later now we want to know why the Weeping Angels are here.”

 

______

 

The Weeping Angels used their ability to travel in time to get to Victorian England. From all the times the Doctor had tried to save England it had created ripples, allowing enemies to step through. Except the ripples were everywhere, and what was impossible was to close them. 

 

They had possessed some of the greatest artwork in history, some of them hid in plain sight, others in shadows. The Doctor watched from from outside the angel from the church across the street, he blinked and it disappeared. His suspicions were confirmed. 

 

“Doctor, there are Weeping Angels.”

 

“Yes, suspicions confirmed.”

 

“Do you know any of their weaknesses?”

 

“Only that they can look at each other and freeze, but hey are stronger than that, it is a different brand of Weeping Angels. It’s sort of hard to explain.”

 

“Can you do it?” Vastra asked. 

 

“Not without the TARDIS.” he replied. 

 

“Where did you get that face from?” Jenny asked. 

 

“Why must we all come back to this question? I always have a face others seem to think they have seen before.”

 

“Doctor, I swear if you don’t get us out of this-”

 

“I will,” he replied sharply. 

 

Vastra out her arm around Jenny protectively. “Why did you come here?”

 

“Jenny dies in the future and you turn against me. I’m here to make sure you don’t lose your wife, and half to protect me.”

 

“Doctor, I’m sorry. What do we do?”

 

“Do you have any alien technology from your planet?”

 

“I believe so, by the goddess I swear by it.”

 

“Good,” he replied with a hint of a smile. “Clara and I will go exploring.”

 

“Just be careful.” Jenny said with a sad smile. 

 

__________

 

As the Doctor and Clara walked arm in arm, they hid behind churches and houses to hide from the Weeping Angels and avoid eye contact. “Doctor, do you know what you’re doing?”

 

“Never, I never know what I’m doing.”

 

“You’re silly sometimes, you know that?”

 

“Of course, I’m always silly.”

 

“Can you be serious for once and tell me that the Weeping Angels won’t take me again.”


	29. Peace

Vastra and Jenny exchanged looks as the Doctor and Clara went ahead of them. Vastra and Jenny knew, many regenerations ago that the Doctor was in a way infatuated with Clara. Their public display of affection when the crimson horror had threatened to take over Victorian London, Clara flirted with the Doctor. The Doctor also had flirted with her in many unconscious ways, Jenny constantly teased him about his little serenade in medieval England.  

 

“She changed him.” Jenny said with a laugh. 

 

“Of course she did. Before Clara he was grieving in his time machine on a cloud. She brought him back down.”

 

“I don’t want to lose you to the Weeping Angels. If the Doctor doesn’t find a way, I swear I will kick his ass.”

 

Jenny gave Vastra a kiss on the cheek, she took Vastra’s hand. All four of them were trying to find the source where he Weeping Angels had come. Someone had to find a way through for them. The Doctor silently cursed under his breath, how could someone be so stupid enough let an ancient race in?

 

The Doctor soniced their source until he found a warehouse. He took Clara’s hand protectively and asked her to crouch down beneath one of the fall bookshelves. She immediately protested. “Don’t tell me what to do.”

 

“Clara, please.” His voice was almost childlike. 

 

Jenny took Clara’s hands. “Clara, stand back.”

 

“What is he doing?” was all she asked. 

 

“He’s just trying to figure out who did this. He’s developing a psychic link.”

 

“For what?”

“He’s trying to connect with the person who did this.”

 

“The Weeping Angels are more powerful than him.” Clara protested. “He needs two psychic links.” Clara took the Doctor’s hands, his eyes widened with worry. 

 

When the psychic link had developed between them, Clara felt her emotions on full rage. Like all of her connections with the Doctor, she felt such a overwhelming well of love and devotion. He held her close to his heart. 

 

The man appeared, he was middle aged and old, he had a shining quartz around his neck. “Doctor, I’ve heard so much about you. The Weeping Angels, whisper I can hear them every time.”

 

“The Weeping Angels don’t talk.” The Doctor said, a little more harshly than he intended. 

 

“They talk to me Doctor-”

 

“Oh don’t be stupid, whatever they promised you- it’s not true.”

 

“They promised me peace.” 

 

“There is no such thing. Whatever you’re sick with there is no cure.”

 

Clara slapped him on the shoulder and gave her a sharp look. “Listen, what are you sick with?”

 

“Cancer.” he man replied nonchalantly. 

 

“Weeping Angels can’t cure cancer,” the Doctor groaned, holding his face in his hands. 

 

“They promised to cure me as long as I let them in,” the man replied, he opened the door in the warehouse, there was a vortex and several Weeping Angels already at the door. 

 

One of the Weeping Angels, seeing the man had turned off all the electricity that was crackling at the moment. The man took the angel's hand and went into the vortex. 

 

The group were materialized outside the warehouse. The Doctor just sighed, just as Clara had taken his hand in her own. “Well it’s better that we had gotten out of there. Vastra and Jenny, please take Clara back home. While I figure this idiocy out.”

 

Vastra took Clara’s hand as she immediately protested the Doctor soniced  himself in the warehouse again. She sat near the stream and buried her face in her hands. “He’s such an idiot sometimes.”

 

“We can take you back to the TARDIS, the Doctor will come back. He always does.”

 

“I hope so.”

 

Clara’s faith wasn’t shaken she knew the Doctor was just keeping her safe. She just wanted to go back home, but she couldn’t she went back to the TARDIS, where she could just wait. The TARDIS, was just a safe house for her emotions, she angry, unbelievably. After all their conversations he still couldn’t trust her enough to fight with him. She would give it to him hard when he came back. The only part was that she couldn't believe he would come back. 

____________

 

The Doctor took one look at the man’s body, and sighed. “Mr. Montgomery, I’m so sorry.”

 

He looked at Jenny and Vastra who were kneeling beside beside. They took his hands. “We need to get rid of the body. The Weeping Angels didn’t cure him they just made it worse.”

 

“I am so sick of losing humans, they are so pathetic, they die so easily.”

 

“Doctor, do you want to get back to Clara or not?”

“Of course I do. Let’s go back to the TARDIS.”

 

____________

 

The Doctor didn’t use the sonic, he walked to where the TARDIS was parked, Vastra and Jenny went back home alive and safe. He wanted to hug Clara, kiss her and hold her until her lips bled. He just felt a sting across his cheek. “You’re a dick.”

 

“Clara, you would have died.” he replied as calmly as he could. “Weeping Angels could kill immortals, I did what I had to do. The choices we have to make are bad ones sometimes, but we still have to chose.”

 

“I don’t care, I would stand by you no matter what. I thought you knew that. You don’t have to protect me, I can take care of myself. I love you so much, I broke every rule I knew to come back to you. You did the same for me. We can’t keep getting into situations like that. The stars, they are like an addiction, I’m addicted to you. I think we need to settle down.”

 

The Doctor took her offered her, she felt cold and wet from the rain that had began to pour when she was running to the TARDIS. The rain smelled so good on her skin. 

 

“I never had settled down before. I don’t know how to begin.”

“Then we both will learn again. Anyway, there are a million of adventures in the TARDIS, we’ll keep each other safe as we always have. We’re together in the best possible way.”

 

That night the Doctor showed Clara how much he missed her and he in return. They would find their own adventures, inside each other and in the TARDIS. Both of them were immortal, both of them loved the taste of danger and adventure. 

 

Of course the rip the Weeping Angels had made healed over time, of course there was just a little tear where the tiniest space was available just for a diner to come through, for an impossible girl to be reunited with her impossible man. However the tear wasn’t fully allowing the Doctor to regain memories of Clara. 

Of course the Doctor wasn’t good at being domestic, he couldn’t sit still for five minutes, but he’ll learn as Clara would teach him. 


	30. Epilogue

The Doctor was tapping his fingers on a Gallifreyan book. They were both in the library, tangled in limbs and pajamas. Clara was resting on his lap, silently waiting until the Doctor woke up from his nap. 

 

“Hey, you’ve been sleeping a lot lately, you okay?” Clara asked her brooding Time Lord. 

 

“I think so. I’m getting older.” he replied looking at his aging hands. 

 

“I think I’ve known where your face has come from, if you want to know.”

 

The Doctor raised his eyebrow. “Really?”

 

Clara held out her phone. The Doctor took it and widened his eyes. “I can’t believe I forgot about him.”

 

“How did you forget him?”

 

“Why did you tell me?”

 

“I thought you already knew!” she laughed. 

 

“Not really.” he admitted sheepishly. 

 

She chuckled and leaned into him kissing the sensitive skin on his neck. He squirmed and let out a low laugh, wrapping her arms around his body. His hair had started to grow more grey, he was aging although he knew that the body not that old anyhow. Clara kept his promise though, and he did the same. He understand how perfectly she fit into him. Like just too perfect, it made all his blood rush south. 

 

“I wonder what my next body will be like.”

 

“I hope it’s a girl.” Clara smirked 

 

He sat up so he could pin her body to the couch. “You do, don’t you?” He nipped at her ear. She laughed like a little girl when he kissed her neck. 

 

She sat up and took the Doctor’s hand in her own. “Yes. I would.”

 

Clara looked at his hands, the yellow glow of regeneration energy had began to shine from his hands. She shook her head, tears threatening to run down her cheeks. No matter what body she would love the Doctor. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for over 1,000 hits! You have no idea how happy it makes me you see that you loved this story about the Doctor and Clara! I have a lot of things going on at home going on with my parents. I won't be able to update at often, but never fear I have The Waitress in Blue, which I'm already like a quarter way through it. I'll post it when I can so you have something to read.


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